He wants to marry her but she does not wear niqaab. Should he go ahead and propose or should he look for someone else?

I am a young Arab man who lives according to our Arab traditions, or what is known as a good attitude and etiquette, but this commitment has nothing to do with adhering to Islamic teachings, because in our country adhering to tradition does not contradict listening to music, mixing, dealing with riba-based banks and so on. I proposed marriage to a girl in the same environment that I am living in, and her family have been friends of my family for a long time. They all approved of the marriage since they know that we are both of good character. But my problem, unfortunately, started when I began to read about the rules on marriage in Islam and I started to reduce mixing and to pray regularly in the mosque and let my beard grow and not deal with riba-based banks and not listen to music and so on. Now both families are regarding me as an extremist, except those on whom Allaah has mercy, and they started to make this girl afraid of me, even though she loves me very much and has told them all about that many times. The girl wants to be committed but she is not able to do some things such as wearing niqaab or covering the face. So she too regards these things as signs of extremism in religion, as her family do. 
Should I forget about this girl who is of good character and proper etiquette and who is keen to pray and recite the adhkaar of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and is trying to be committed, and who loves me and tells others of that, and does not want to lose me, but she is unable to do some things that have to do with religion, such as covering her face, and look for someone else who is committed but whose family and behaviour I do not know and my judgement of her will be only according to what I hear from those who know her family and behaviour?.

Praise be to Allaah.

We ask Allaah the Almighty to make us and you steadfast in adhering to His religion, and to bless us and you with more obedience and righteousness. 

With regard to what you are asking about, it is better for you to stay with this girl towards whom your heart is inclined, and who feels likewise about you, and who has no faults that would cause you to leave her. All that there is, is that she needs a little care and encouragement and sound Islamic education to accept and follow the commands of Allaah. 

A lot of that may come after marriage, especially if you treat her nicely and move her into a better environment than the one she is in, which is what we advise and encourage you to do.  

There is no reason why a woman who loves her religion and is obedient to her husband should not respond to the command of Allaah as regards her clothing, especially since this will make her husband love and respect her more. 

Her refusal to wear niqaab may be because of the lies fabricated by some of those who are ignorant and who follow their own whims and desires, who say that the niqaab is a custom inherited from the Jaahiliyyah and that it was not brought by Islam. You should explain to her the ruling on a woman covering her face, with evidence from the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and tell her that the scholars are unanimously agreed that this ruling is prescribed in Islam. 

Remind her of the Sahaabi women who hastened to tear their aprons so that they could cover their faces after the verse of hijab was revealed, and encourage her to have righteous friends. Tell her that this world is transient and soon each of us will meet our Lord with our deeds. 

Neither you nor she should worry about what your families will say. As for such environments where the rulings of Islam are not known and people cannot differentiate between proper adherence to Islam and extremism no attention should be paid to them or to what they say about one who adheres to the path of righteousness. 

If your wife does not respond to the Islamic injunction to cover the face, then be patient with her, and try to convey the message to her in some other way, such as from another women who is involved in da’wah, or by means of tapes and books by scholars whose knowledge and religious commitment can be trusted. 

Seek the help of Allaah and persist in calling upon Him, asking Him for support and help to establish a household based on what our Lord loves and is pleased with. 

Show her the answer to question no. 21134, which speaks of the obligation to wear niqaab according to the Qur’aan and Sunnah. 

And please see question no. 20343 which speaks of the husband’s duty to advise his wife and how he may do so. 

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Differing from the mushrikeen with regard to the beard

I know that we are supposed to let our beards grow in order to be different from the mushrikeen, but nowadays they let their beards grow too. What is your opinion?

Praise be to Allaah.

It is waajib (obligatory) to let the beard grow, and shaving it is haraam (forbidden). Imaam Ahmad, al-Bukhaari, Muslim and others narrated from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Be different from the mushrikeen: let your beards grow and trim your moutsaches.” Ahmad and Muslim reported from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Cut your moustaches and let your beards grow: be different from the Magians.” Persisting in shaving one’s beard is a major sin (kabeerah); the one who does this should be advised against it, and his action should be denounced, especially if he is in a position of religious leadership.

The idea of being different from the Magians and other mushrikeen does not mean being different from them in every single thing, particularly if they happen to be doing something righteous or good in accordance with the fitrah (natural inclinations of man). What is meant is that we should be different from them in matters where they have gone astray and deviated from the truth and the dictates of the fitrah, and gone against the way of the Prophets and Messengers by shaving their beards. We should differ from them in this case by letting our beards grow and cutting our moustaches, following the guidance of the Prophets and Messengers, and in accordance with the fitrah. It is proven that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Ten things are part of the fitrah: cutting the moustache, letting the beard grow, cleaning the teeth with a siwaak, rinsing the nose with water, cutting one’s nails, washing between the finger-joints, plucking the armpit hairs, shaving the pubic hair and cleaning one’s private parts with water.” (Reported by Ahmad, Muslim and the four authors of Sunan, from the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her). Even if the kaafiroon start letting their beards grow, this does not mean that the Muslims are allowed to shave theirs, because as we have stated above, the idea is not to be different from them in everything, only in the things in which they have deviated from the truth and from the fitrah.

She is confused about the answer to a question concerning women talking to men

In Question #6453, regarding gender relations, you said: [[[" Conversation – whether verbally or in writing – between men and women is permissible in and of itself, but it may be a way of falling into the traps of the Shaytaan. Whoever knows that he is somewhat weak, and is afraid that he may fall into the traps of the Shaytaan, has to refrain from such conversations, in order to save himself. Whoever is sure that he will be able to remain steadfast, then we think that it is permissible in his case, but there are certain conditions: "]]] And Alhamdulillah, I understand up until this part, but I became a little confused at the next part: [[[" 1. The conversation should not be allowed to wander too far from the topic being discussed; or it should be for the purposes of calling others to Islam. "]]] So my question regarding this is: In Sharee'ah, what can be considered a permissable topic to discuss in the first place? For example, we know that Islaam is a permissable topic, but what other things can we discuss, if anything?.

Praise be to Allaah.

This has been discussed in the answer to question no. 1497 where it says:  

Speaking with a woman to whom one is not related (i.e., not mahram) should only be for a specific need, such as asking a question, buying or selling, asking about the head of the household, and so on. Such conversations should be brief, with nothing doubtful in either what is said or how it is said. 

The idea of limiting speech with women to the five instances mentioned in the question – which are: to ask how her family is, for medical purposes, for financial purposes (e.g. in a shop), to find out about her personality for marriage suitability and to give her dawah (Islamic knowledge) – needs to be approached with caution, because they could be taken as examples instead of limits. One must also adhere to the conditions set out by the Sharee’ah even in instances where such conversations are necessary, such as in da’wah, giving fatwas, buying or selling, etc. And Allaah knows best.  

In the answer to question no. 1121 it says:

Women are not prevented from talking to non-mahram men when it is necessary to do so, such as dealing directly with them when buying things or conducting any other financial transaction, because in such cases it is necessary for both parties to speak. A woman may also ask a scholar about some legal Islamic matter, or a man may ask a woman such questions, as is proven in various texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah. Within the guidelines described above, there is nothing wrong with a woman speaking to a non-mahram man. It is also permissible for men to greet women with salaam and vice versa, according to the most correct opinion, but this greeting must be free of anything that may provoke desire in the person in whose heart is a disease, so as to be safe from fitnah and pay attention to the regulations outlined above.

If there is fear of fitnah being provoked by this greeting, then the woman should refrain from either initiating or returning the greeting, because warding off fitnah by neglecting the greeting is warding off mischief, and warding off mischief takes precedence over doing something useful. (See al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah by ‘Abd al-Kareem Zaydaan, vol. 3/276). And Allaah knows best.

Thus it is known that we do not mean general talk for no need, or a great deal of private talk. Rather it should be just as much as is needed in order to reply. 

Going into detail in permissible talk or in shar’i matters when there is no need for that leads to removal of barriers between the two parties, which may lead to negative consequences.

And Allaah knows best.

The Islamic life is the best life, but sometimes I feel as if I cannot continue along this path

The Islamic life is the best life that a person could live, but sometimes things get so difficult that I feel that I have no hope of carrying on.

Praise be to Allaah.  

You have done well by realizing that the Islamic life is the best life that a person could live. This is a great truth which few people understand, let alone become convinced of. Allaah has stated that in more than one place in his Book. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”

[al-Nahl 16:97] 

And Allaah has stated that whoever turns away from faith in Allaah and remembrance of Him exposes himself to a life of hardship and misery, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“But whosoever turns away from My Reminder (i.e. neither believes in this Qur’aan nor acts on its teachings) verily, for him is a life of hardship, and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection.”

125. He will say: ‘O my Lord! Why have you raised me up blind, while I had sight (before).’

126. (Allaah) will say: ‘Like this: Our Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) came unto you, but you disregarded them (i.e. you left them, did not think deeply in them, and you turned away from them), and so this Day, you will be neglected (in the Hell‑fire, away from Allaah’s Mercy).’

127. And thus do We requite him who transgresses beyond bounds [i.e. commits the great sins and disobeys his Lord (Allaah) and believes not in His Messengers, and His revealed Books, like this Qur’aan], and believes not in the Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of his Lord; and the torment of the Hereafter is far more severe and more lasting”

[Ta-Ha 20:124-127] 

Once you have understood this, and it has become deeply rooted in your heart and you are at peace with it, then you will know that Allaah has not created this universe, with the earth and the heavens, the seas and the rivers, the mountains and plains, the oases and the deserts, except for your sake, O poor, weak creature. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“He it is Who created for you all that is on earth”

[al-Baqarah 2:29] 

Then you will realize that the great purpose for which you exist in this world is to worship your Lord and Creator, Who has created all things well: 

“And I (Allaah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)”

[al-Dhaariyaat 51:56 – interpretation of the meaning] 

He has only created life and death in order to test His slaves in their performance of this duty of worship: 

“Who has created death and life that He may test you which of you is best in deed.  And He is the All‑Mighty, the Oft‑Forgiving”

[al-Mulk 67:2 – interpretation of the meaning] 

Then Allaah honoured His slaves and promised those who do good in this world that in the Hereafter theirs will be Paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth, in which is that which no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard, nor has it ever entered the mind of man. By the same token, He has warned those who do evil and neglect His rights over them that theirs will be a blazing Fire, in which they will neither live nor die, in which He has created all kinds of punishments and torments, hearing of which would turn a child’s hair white, let alone seeing them and suffering them. We ask Allaah to keep us and you safe from that… ameen. 

Once you know this with certainty, then you will know that succeeding in this test is a serious matter which can only be achieved with a measure of effort and hardship which requires patience and forbearance. But this is hardship which passes swiftly and difficulty which soon comes to an end, because it is followed by eternal rest and happiness. So what is an hour of hardship and a moment of pain when compared to that eternal delight. We ask Allaah to bless us and you with His grace and Paradise…ameen. 

You should also note – may Allaah guide you – that the more religious commitment becomes something strange and the fewer people there are who truly adhere to it – as is the situation nowadays – the more difficult it becomes to remain steadfast. It is hard to be different from the vast majority of people. Hence Allaah in His wisdom increases the reward of the sincere believers who remain steadfast in adhering to the truth, those who give precedence to pleasing Him over everything else and sacrifice that which is most precious to them for the sake of achieving that. In Saheeh Muslim (145) it is narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Islam started as something strange and will go back to being something strange as it began. So glad tidings to the strangers.” 

In Sunan al-Tirmidhi (3058) it is narrated from Abu Tha’labah al-Khushani (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “After you there will come days during which being patient will be like holding on to a live coal. The one who strives during those days will have a reward like that of fifty men who strive as you do.” According to another report: It was said: “O Messenger of Allaah, the reward of fifty men like them or like us?” He said: “No, the reward of fifty men like you.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, 3172 

These ahaadeeth and others indicate that at the end of time, there will be many evil and corrupt people, and few who are good and righteous and fear Allaah. That is because there will be so much fitnah (temptation and tribulation) and because sin and temptation will be so widespread that adhering to Islam will become something strange and may even become something strange among the Muslims themselves. 

These ahaadeeth also indicate that adherence to Islam is not something easy, rather it is like holding on to a live coal. What will help a person to do that, after guidance from Allaah, is being patient in adhering to this path until he meets his Lord not being negligent or heedless, so he will meet a Lord Who is pleased with him and not angry with him, and will give him a great and much-multiplied reward. If a person truly understands this, he will regard as insignificant whatever he encounters for the sake of that which is waiting for him with his Lord, by the will and grace of Allaah. 

What we have said applies if you feel that things are too difficult for you and you fear that your patience is weak and that you are slipping and not remaining steadfast. 

However, if you are feeling that you have no hope of spreading this Islamic life that you live among those who are around you, and bringing them back to Islam as you are obliged to do, because of the opposition and resistance that you encounter, you should know that every step that you take in that direction is a victory and an act of charity. A good word is a charity, and you do not know when a word that you have spoken may take effect in the heart of the one who hears it and be of some benefit to him, even if that is after some time. So you should not give up hope that it will do some good one day. 

“And when a community among them said: “Why do you preach to a people whom Allaah is about to destroy or to punish with a severe torment?” (The preachers) said: “In order to be free from guilt before your Lord (Allaah), and perhaps they may fear Allaah”

[al-A’raaf 7:164] 

Beware of letting despair enter your heart. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Certainly no one despairs of Allaah’s Mercy, except the people who disbelieve”

[Yoosuf 12:87] 

Beware of despair for it is misguidance: 

“And who despairs of the Mercy of his Lord except those who are astray?”

[al-Hijr 15:56] 

Remember that your efforts will never be lost, so long as you remain on the right path. The point where your life ends, this is your destination: 

“He who emigrates (from his home) in the Cause of Allaah, will find on earth many dwelling places and plenty to live by. And whosoever leaves his home as an emigrant unto Allaah and His Messenger, and death overtakes him, his reward is then surely, incumbent upon Allaah. And Allaah is Ever Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Nisa’ 4:100] 

Then will come the turn of those who come after you, to take the flag from you and continue the rest of the journey. How many of this ummah are still left: “Allaah will continue to plant new people in this religion and use them in His obedience.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Sunan Ibn Maajah, 1/5. 

Be certain of the promise of Allaah to this ummah of support and help: 

“And indeed We have written in Az‑Zaboor [i.e. all the revealed Holy Books the Tawraat (Torah), the Injeel (Gospel), the Psalms, the Qur’aan] after (We have already written in) Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz (the Book that is in the heaven with Allaah) that My righteous slaves shall inherit the land (i.e. the land of Paradise)”

[al-Anbiya’ 21:105] 

“This matter (i.e., Islam) will reach as far as the day and night reach, and Allaah will not leave any house of mud or hair but He will bring this religion into it … and Allaah will bring glory to Islam and humiliation to kufr.” Narrated by Ahmad and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 32. 

I urge you to remain steadfast in your religious commitment and not to turn away from it despite the many fitnahs and temptations and the many obstacles. Remember that the good end will be for those who fear Allaah (the pious). 

You should strive to find all means that will help you to remain steadfast in adhering to the religion of Allaah. On this website you will find an essay which describes ways and means of remaining steadfast in Islam. I advise you to read it and study it. 

In conclusion I would like to leave you with these great verses from the Book of Allaah which He revealed to His slave Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to be a healing for the believers’ hearts and a remedy for their ills. Read them and ponder them, and if you can look up the commentary on them in one of the books of Tafseer such as the Tafseer of Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Sa’di or Tafseer Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) then that will be good. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, ‘When (will come) the Help of Allaah?’ Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allaah is near!”

[al-Baqarah 2:214] 

“Alif‑Laam‑Meem.

[These letters are one of the miracles of the Qur’aan, and none but Allaah (Alone) knows their meanings.]

2. Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested.

3. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allaah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allaah knows all that before putting them to test)”

[al-‘Ankaboot 29:1-3] 

“And for those who believe (in the Oneness of Allaah and the other articles of Faith) and do righteous good deeds, surely, We shall make them enter with (in the entrance of) the righteous (in Paradise).

10. Of mankind are some who say: ‘We believe in Allaah.’ But if they are made to suffer for the sake of Allaah, they consider the trial of mankind as Allaah’s punishment; and if victory comes from your Lord, (the hypocrites) will say: ‘Verily, we were with you (helping you).’ Is not Allaah Best Aware of what is in the breasts of the ‘Aalameen (mankind and jinn)”

[al-‘Ankaboot 29:9-10] 

“And among mankind is he who worships Allaah as it were upon the edge (i.e. in doubt): if good befalls him, he is content therewith; but if a trial befalls him he turns back on his face (i.e. reverts to disbelief after embracing Islam). He loses both this world and the Hereafter. That is the evident loss”

[al-Hajj 22:11] 

“Verily, those who say: ‘Our Lord is Allaah (Alone),’ and then they stand firm, on them the angels will descend (at the time of their death) (saying): ‘Fear not, nor grieve! But receive the glad tidings of Paradise which you have been promised!’”

[Fussilat 41:30] 

“Verily, those who say: ‘Our Lord is (only) Allaah,’ and thereafter stand firm (on the Islamic Faith of Monotheism), on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.

14. Such shall be the dwellers of Paradise, abiding therein (forever) a reward for what they used to do”

[al-Ahqaaf 46:13-14] 

And there are other verses which encourage us to remain steadfast in our religious commitment and describe what Allaah has promised to the sincere believers. The Book of Allaah is filled with verses which state this and explain it in the most eloquent manner. So I advise you to read and ponder the Qur’aan. By Allaah’s Leave you will find in it the best help in remaining patient and not despairing or finding the way too long. For this world will quickly come to an end, then each person will find that which he has sent on ahead with his Lord; it is good, all well and good, but if it is bad then the outcome will be bad: 

“On the Day when every person will be confronted with all the good he has done, and all the evil he has done, he will wish that there were a great distance between him and his evil. And Allaah warns you against Himself (His punishment) and Allaah is full of kindness to (His) slaves”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:30] 

I ask Allaah to open your heart to goodness and to make you steadfast in adhering to the truth until You meet Him. May he divert all evil away from you, for He is All-Hearing, Ever Near. And Allaah knows best. 

May Allaah send blessings and peace upon His slave and Prophet Muhammad and upon his family and companions.

Ruling on disputes and the virtue of reconciling between two disputing parties

In our class we have two classmates who were not speaking to one another during Ramadaan, and they have been like that for a long time. My relationship with them is not strong, but I want to reconcile between them so that I may attain the reward of reconciling between people, and I want a letter that I can write to them, but I am afraid of dealing with them face to face. I hope that my letter will earn your attention.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

What you are keen to do is one of the noblest of attitudes. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“So fear Allaah and adjust all matters of difference among you, and obey Allaah and His Messenger (Muhammad), if you are believers”

[al-Anfaal 8:1] 

“There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allaah’s Cause), or Ma‘roof (Islamic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allaah has ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this, seeking the good Pleasure of Allaah, We shall give him a great reward”

[al-Nisa’ 4:114] 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that reconciling between people is better than observing voluntary fasts, offering voluntary prayers and giving voluntary charity. 

It was narrated that Abu’l-Darda’ (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Shall I not tell you something that is better than the status of (voluntary) fasting, prayer and charity?” They said: “Yes.” He said: “Reconciling in a case of discord, for the evil of discord is the shaver.” Al-Tirmidhi said: It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is the shaver, and I do not say that it shaves hair, but that it shaves (i.e., destroys) religious commitment.” 

Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4273; al-Tirmidhi, 2433. classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

Islam has permitted telling lies in order to achieve this great purpose. So it is permissible for you to tell each party that the other has said good things about them and praised them so as to encourage reconciliation. This does not come under the heading of lies that are haraam. 

It was narrated from Umm Kalthoom bint ‘Uqbah ibn Abi Mu’eet that she heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “He is not a liar who seeks to reconcile between people and says good things.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2490 

Secondly: 

For Muslims to forsake one another is a haraam action. You can remind both parties of the texts which indicate that. These include the following: 

From the Holy Qur’aan: 

(a)   The verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And obey Allaah and His Messenger, and do not dispute (with one another) lest you lose courage and your strength departs, and be patient. Surely, Allaah is with those who are As‑Saabiroon (the patient)”

[al-Anfaal 8:46] 

(b)  The verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allaah (i.e. this Qur’aan), and be not divided among yourselves, and remember Allaah’s Favour on you, for you were enemies one to another but He joined your hearts together, so that, by His Grace, you became brethren (in Islamic Faith), and you were on the brink of a pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus Allaah makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.,) clear to you, that you may be guided”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:103] 

From the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): 

(a)     It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not hate one another, do not envy one another, do not turn away from one another. Be, O slaves of Allaah, brothers. It is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6065; Muslim, 2559. 

(b)    It was narrated that Abu Ayyoob al-Ansaari (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days, each of them turning away when they meet. The better of them is the one who gives the greeting of salaam first.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2757; Muslim, 2560. 

(c)    It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The gates of Paradise are opened on Monday and Thursday, and everyone who does not associate anything with Allaah is forgiven, except a man who has had an argument with his brother. It is said: ‘Wait for these two until they reconcile, wait for these two until they reconcile, wait for these two until they reconcile.” Narrated by Muslim, 2565. 

Al-Nawawi said: “Wait for these two” means wait until they have reconciled and love has been restored between them. 

(d)    It was narrated from Abu Kharaash al-Sulami that he heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Whoever forsakes his brother for a year, it is as if he has shed his blood.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4915. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb, 2762. 

These texts indicate that it is forbidden for a Muslim to forsake his brother by not greeting him with salaam and by turning away from him for more than three days, so long as that forsaking is not for a shar’i reason and is not being done in order to achieve some purpose, in which case it is permissible to forsake him for more than three days. 

See also question no. 21878 

You have to remind these two disputing parties of these verses and ahaadeeth. Try to reconcile their points of view, and encourage them to forget their differences. You could address each of them directly, or you could write these texts on a piece of paper and give it to them to read. 

We ask Allaah to help you to do that which is good. 

And Allaah knows best.

Worshipping Allaah when young, and do the devils try to gain power over a person who worships Allaah a lot?

Iam young and like woshipping Allah After 12 in the midnite especially when fasting but some ppl told me that when sombody prays alot or worships Alllah alot then the jinn nd the shaitan tries to stop him is this true? another question is that when young ppl worship Allah in the youth it is like gold for them i would be very happy if u can tell me more about it .

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

We are very happy to learn of this good example of Muslim youth. Whilst other youngsters think only of play and entertainment, and spending their time in things that are of no benefit, along comes this good example of Muslim youth who loves to worship Allaah, seek knowledge, call others to Allaah and strive to learn the Qur’aan and Sunnah. We congratulate you and pray that Allaah will make you steadfast in adhering to His religion and will protect you and make you a joy to your parents. 

You should note that when the Shaytaan sees a person turning towards his Lord, he tries to stop him. The Shaytaan has sworn to undertake this evil mission, but Allaah tells us that he has no power over His sincere slaves. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“[Iblees (Satan)] said: ‘O my Lord! Because You misled me, I shall indeed adorn the path of error for them (mankind) on the earth, and I shall mislead them all.

40. ‘Except Your chosen, (guided) slaves among them.’

41. (Allaah) said: ‘This is the Way which will lead straight to Me.’

42. ‘Certainly, you shall have no authority over My slaves, except those who follow you of the Ghaawoon (Mushrikoon and those who go astray, criminals, polytheists, and evildoers)’”

[al-Hijr 15:39-42] 

It should be noted that the Shaytaan can do no more than call people to misguidance and make it look attractive to them. He has no power over them to force them to do what he wants. So blame is attached only to those who respond to him. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And Shaytaan (Satan) will say when the matter has been decided: ‘Verily, Allaah promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, and you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Satan) as a partner with Allaah (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers)’”

[Ibraaheem 14:22] 

Worshipping and obeying Allaah impedes the tricks and whispers of the Shaytaan, and remembrance of Allaah (dhikr) is a strong fortress by means of which Allaah protects the one who remembers Him from the plots and wiles of the Shaytaan. 

It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When a man leaves his house and says, ‘Bismillaah, tawakkaltu ‘ala Allaah wa laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah (In the name of Allaah, I put my trust in Allaah, and there is no power and not strength except with Allaah), it is said: ‘You have been guided, taken care of and protected,’ and the devils turn away from him. And another devil says to him: ‘What you can do with a man who has been guided, taken care of and protected?’” 

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3423; Abu Dawood, 5095; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

The Shaytaan has no power over a heart that knows Allaah, or over physical faculties that have submitted to Allaah by doing acts of worship and obedience and by avoiding sin. The light of obedience burns the devils as the shooting stars burn their brethren. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Worship and obedience illuminate the heart and make it strong and steadfast, until it becomes like a clear mirror, shining with light. When the Shaytaan draws close, he is struck by its light like those who try to eavesdrop (in the heavens) are struck by the shooting stars, and the Shaytaan flees from this heart with more terror than a wolf fleeing from a lion. End quote. 

Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi, p. 64

 Secondly: 

Worshipping Allaah in one’s youth is a sign that a person is good. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke of the great virtue of a young man who grows up worshipping and obeying Allaah, and said that he will be shaded by Allaah on the Day of Resurrection, the Day when the sun will be directly over the heads of the people. 

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are seven whom Allaah will shade with His shade on the Day when there will be no shade but His…” among whom he mentioned, “a young man who grew up worshipping Allaah.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1423; Muslim, 1031. 

Whoever keeps his physical faculties away from sin when he is young, Allaah will protect him when he gets older. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Ibn ‘Abbaas when he was a young boy: “Be mindful of Allaah and He will take care of you.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2516; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Whoever is mindful of Allaah when he is young and strong, Allaah will take care of him when he is old and has become weak, and will bless him with good hearing, eyesight, strength and reasoning. One of the scholars who lived beyond the age of one hundred years and enjoyed good strength and reasoning, jumped up in a lively manner one day and was asked about that. He said: “I kept these physical faculties from sin when I was young and Allaah has preserved them for me now that I am old.” The opposite also applies; one of the salaf saw an old man begging from people and said: “This is a weak man who ignored Allaah when he was young, so Allaah is ignoring him now he has grown old.” End quote. 

Jaami’ al-‘Uloom wa’l-Hukam, 1/186 

So seek the help of Allaah in obeying Him and ask Him for more of His bounty, and do not let anyone discourage you from following this path. Beware of the devils among mankind and the jinn. We ask Allaah to help you to remember Him and give thanks to Him and worship Him properly. 

And Allaah knows best.

Will a woman be rewarded for her work in the home even if she does not intend to seek reward?

If a woman works in her house without intending to seek reward for her work with Allaah, will she be rewarded for her work or not?.

Praise be to Allaah.

A woman’s work in the home is important work in which she helps to spread love and mercy in her home, and she plays a major role in raising her children and helps her husband in his work, da’wah and pursuit of knowledge. 

In this regard, this work is like all other kinds of work: a woman will not be rewarded for it unless her intention in doing it is sincerely for the sake of Allaah alone. 

There follow some texts which support this view, as well as some of the comments of the scholars.

 1 – al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) included in Kitaab al-Eemaan (the Book of Faith) a chapter in which he listed shar’i duties, which included seeking reward for doing them. 

Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

“Chapter: what was narrated about actions being but by intentions, and every person will have but that which he intended. This includes faith, wudoo’, prayer, zakaah, Hajj, fasting and other rulings. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Each one does according to Shakilatihi (i.e. his way or his religion or his intentions)” [al-Isra’ 17:84]. A man may seek the reward of charity for his spending on his family. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “But jihad and good intentions.” 

Saheeh al-Bukhaari (1/29), Kitaab al-Eemaan. 

Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

The words “Chapter: what has been narrated…” mean: a chapter which explains what has been narrated as evidence that shar’i actions are judged according to intention. 

Fath al-Baari (1/135, 136) 

2 – It was narrated that Abu Mas’ood al-Badri (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a Muslim spends on his family, seeking reward for that with Allaah, then it will an act of charity on his part.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (55), Muslim (1002). 

Spending on his wife and children is a man’s shar’i duty, but he will not be rewarded for it unless he seeks reward thereby. 

Al-Qurtubi said: 

The apparent meaning is that the reward for spending on them can only be attained by intending to draw closer to Allaah, whether it is obligatory or permissible, and this implies that whoever does not intend to draw closer to Allaah will not be rewarded, but he has discharged his duty in the case of obligatory spending. 

Fath al-Baari (1/136) 

Ibn Hajar said: 

It may be understood from this that the reward cannot be attained by doing the deed unless it is also accompanied by the intention. 

Al-Tabari said: spending on one's family is obligatory, and he will be rewarded for what he gives according to his intention. There is no contradiction between its being obligatory and its being called charity, rather it is better than voluntary charity. 

Fath al-Baari (9/498) 

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Seeking reward thereby means seeking the Countenance of Allaah thereby. That does not include whatever he spends absent-mindedly (i.e., heedless of the intention and without intending to seek reward thereby). Rather this refers to the one who seeks reward. The way to seek reward is to spend it with the intention of fulfilling the duty of spending and kind treatment that has been enjoined upon him. 

Sharh Muslim (7/88, 89). 

3 – It was narrated from Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You will never spend anything, seeking thereby the Countenance of Allaah, but you will be rewarded for it, even what you put in your wife’s mouth.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (56) and Muslim (1628). 

Ibn al-Haaj al-Maaliki (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

He should not neglect to give his wife a morsel or two, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “even a morsel that he puts in his wife’s mouth.” He will earn reward even though there is some pleasure for him in putting a morsel in his wife’s mouth, but he should seek reward in all of that, i.e., in bringing the food and in giving it to her. 

Al-Madkhal (1/224). 

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

You will never spend anything, seeking thereby the reward of Allaah, but you will be rewarded for it. The attainment of reward is dependent upon that, i.e., on seeking the Countenance of Allaah. This is what matters. 

Fath al-Baari (5/367). 

Conclusion: 

A woman will be rewarded for her work in the house if she seeks reward with Allaah for that, and is sincere in her intention. 

And Allaah knows best.