She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?

What is the ruling about remaining in a marriage when the wife has become a Muslim but her husband is still a kaafir? She has children with him and is afraid that they may go astray and be lost, and she hopes that her husband may be guided to Islam if she stays with him.

Praise be to Allaah.

As soon as a woman embraces Islam and her husband refuses to do likewise, the marriage is annulled and it is not permissible for her to live with him. But she should wait out the length of the ‘iddah period. If he embraces Islam, she may go back to him and the previous marriage contract is still counted as valid, but if he does not embrace Islam before the ‘iddah is over, then they are no longer married. If he subsequently embraces Islam and they want to get back together, a new marriage contract must be drawn up. It is not permissible to continue the marriage on the basis of being kind to him.

Majma’ al-Fiqh al-Islami (Islamic Fiqh Council), p. 43.

The children should follow the Muslim parent, so try your best to get custody of them. May Allaah help us and help you by His kindness and mercy.

Ruling Concerning a Woman Remaining with Her Alcoholic Husband

I have three sons and a daughter. My husband, may Allah protect us, is an alcoholic. He has be imprisoned in the past. He is addicted to alcohol and has injured me and my children. I have been divorced from him and I am currently with my family. He does not spend anything on us and I do not have any desire to return to him. However, he has threatened to take my children and that would be something that I could not bear. After all, I am, first and foremost, a mother. Please help me.

Praise be to Allaah.

This is something that definitely needs to be taken up in the courts of law. One should not remain with an alcoholic as he harms his wife and his children. One should remain away from him unless Allah guides him and he returns to what is correct. If the judge separates the two, usually, the children are given over to the mother as she is most qualified for them while he is not qualified. As long as he has the problem of being an alcoholic, he is not suited to bring up his children as he will destroy and ruin them. Therefore, she has more right to her children than him, even if they be boys. This is what is usually done by the judges and this is what is obligatory. The children must be with her because she is better than him and he is an evildoer. If she refuses to go back to him, she has done well, as such a living condition is harmful and dangerous for her. If he also does not pray, then it is obligatory not to return to him for the one who abandons the prayer is a disbeliever-- and protection is sought from Allah. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "The covenant between us and them is the prayer. Whoever abandons it has committed disbelief."l
It is not obligatory to remain with the one who does not pray.2
"They are not lawful [wives] for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful [husbands] for them" (al-Mumtahina 10).
[That is,] until Allah guides them and they repent. The woman should go to her family or stay with her children and not let her husband come to them until he repents to Allah and returns to what is right.If he prays but drinks alcohol, then that is a great sin and great crime.
However, he is not a disbeliever but an evildoer.The woman has the right to prevent him from her and to leave him. She is excused for that act. If she remains patient and has the ability to be patient, there is no harm in that option either.

Shaikh ibn Baz

Footnote
1. Recorded by Ahmad, al-Nasal, al-Tirmidhi and ibn Majah. Al-Albani calls it sahih. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami, vol. 2, p. 760 .
2. This sentence, as is clear from the remainder of the response, must not be misunderstood. It does not mean that one may stay with one who does not pray if one wishes to do so. It is not an option to remain with a husband who has been deemed a disbeliever.

Tragedy of a woman who has become Muslim, but she has two children and their father is Hindu

I have read question 2803 in which you advised our sister to announce her marraige as it is sunnah and I have also read the other questions with regards to parents rejecting their son's/daughter's choice of marraige because of various reasons. What advice do you give to a person in the following situation:
She is divorced frmo her ex husband and has embraced Islam for she has reliaed the truth and she was guided to the right path, Al Hamdulilah, her conversion is kept secret from her family for obvious reasons and her two children whom she has custody of are still Hindu because her ex husband would rather kill her than see his children embrace Islam. He is strong enemy of Islam and has sworn our deen and ALLAH on a few occassions. She is now in love with a religious and well mannered Muslim man who has asked her to marry him. The problem is that his parents object to their marraige because the mother feels that the lady in question is a convert and that converts don't make good muslims. In fact her exact words were "Thery will never be one of us" If they do decide to make Nikaah can they for these reasons keep their marraige a secret. The man who has asked for her hand in marraige says that he will accept her children provided they embrace Islam because two religions cannot be practiced in one house especially when the other one is idol worshipp and I can't agree with him more. How do these two people who love each other make a life of their own.
His parents are a problem on the one hand and the ex husband not wanting the children to embrace Islam is another problem.
My friend does not want to give up custody of her children because her ex husband is abusive. Please advise our sister as soon as possible as she is suffering from depression and sleepless nights.
May ALLAH bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Jazak Allah

Praise be to Allaah.

First of all, we would like to congratulate our sister for embracing Islam, which is the joy for which wealth and souls would be sacrificed, for all the blessing of Islam makes all grief and distress fade into insignificance.

The sister says that she loves a Muslim man. We say: it is not appropriate for a Muslim woman to fall into the trap of nonsensical emotions and forbidden relationships into which others fall. The love which people hear about and read about is one of the dazzling tricks of the Shaytaan, and it usually happens with regard to things that Allaah has forbidden. If a man finds that he likes a girl, the only option he has is to ask her guardian (walee) for permission to marry her.

The man’s mother’s comment that new Muslims cannot be good Muslims is false. Were the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) anything but new Muslims, given that prior to their Islam they had been believers in Shirk? Does any Muslim have any doubts about their commitment to religion and their character? Moreover, we see that many new Muslims are many times better than many (born) Muslims! Just because a Muslim is new does not mean that he will never be good, and just because a Muslim is born in Islam does not mean that he is good. What counts is Taqwa (piety, awareness of Allaah) and righteous deeds, as well as the length of time one has been in Islam and has been worshipping Allaah.

There is no reason why knowledge of the man's marriage should not be withheld from his parents, especially since this is in the interests of the sister and there are so few people who can help her to overcome her difficulties. It is the woman who needs a walee according to sharee’ah, not the man. However, we would prefer that he wins his family’s approval by convincing them, because this is in their best interests, benefits which may be lost if they find out that their son concealed his marriage from them.

The fact that the husband says he wants to call the children to Islam is good. We ask Allaah to help him to achieve this. The fact that the Hindu father is evil is sufficient reason for him not to make an open display of his calling the children to Islam, if that could lead to this kaafir taking the children away by going to the kaafir courts. You have to act with wisdom in this case.

The woman who is asking this question should not arrange her own marriage even if she has been previously married, because sharee’ah does not permit this. If she does not have a walee as required by sharee’ah, then her walee may be the qaadi (judge) or whoever is in charge of the Muslim affairs in her country, such as the head of the Islamic centre or his deputy.

They – especially the sister – have to seek the help of Allaah in dealing with these problems which are giving her sleepless nights. Everyone should know that whoever puts his trust in Allaah, Allaah will show him a way out. She has to make du’aa’ sincerely, and he has to try as hard as he can to advise his family and change their views about new Muslims by showing them real examples of people who are the opposite of what they think. With regard to the tragedy caused by the former husband, we advise her again not to make an open display of her calling the children to Islam, lest that should cause the father to do something that will have bad consequences. If they feel suspicious about his intentions, there is no harm in calling the police to do whatever is necessary with regard to him.

If getting married means that the sister will lose her right to custody of her children, we advise her not to get married now, for fear that these two souls may end up in Hell in the Hereafter – unless she fears that she herself may commit some immoral action, in which case she should marry the Muslim man whom she has told us about, with witnesses and a walee as we have stated above. Publicizing the marriage is sunnah, although it does not have to be announced officially and in writing. But this sister has to live in a protective Muslim environment and those people will have to know about her marriage lest she bring upon herself gossip about her honour. If it will be better for her to leave the place where her ex-husband lives and move to another place where she can be free, have custody of her children and be able to marry a believing Muslim man who will protect her and her children, then she should do that.

She has to make du’aa’ and turn to Allaah to relieve her distress and grief. We pray that Allaah will give her the strength to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

And Allaah knows best.

Ruling on marrying an atheist

When i got married,my husbnd told me before marriage that he was an atheist.I didnt think too much of it as my faith was also on shaky grounds.And i thought maybe i could change him(his parents are muslims).  
Then the year after marriage saw me not believing in Allah at all and sometimes believing in him,but my Imaan was not very strong.
 Then i started having problems with his parents,and my parents advised me to trust Allah and pray to Him.Alhamdu lillahh I started praying,cos maybe somewhere deep inside me I knew Allah exists.
 My uncle passed away recently,he was only 25.This made me realise how unpredictable our lives are and have Alhamdulillah become a firm believer.  But my husband beliefs are not like mine.Though he believes there is Allah and Prophet Muhammad()is his messanger,he doesnt think it important to live by what he has taught us.He says it is for the people of that time.  
My qn is..is our marriage void.  
If it is how do I make him understand,as he says that the important thing is our hearts should be clean.It doesnt matter if we drink or gamble or do anything.Incidentally he drinks.

Praise be to Allaah.  

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged us to marry those who are religiously-committed, because basically women are weak and may change their beliefs and thoughts and even their religion for the slightest reason. So you should not have even considered marrying one whose religious commitment was not great, let alone marrying one who has no religious commitment at all, on the grounds that you would be able to guide him. 

Marriage to an atheist is invalid and the marriage contract is basically null and void. It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to enter into such an invalid marriage on the grounds that this man may possibly be guided after marriage. She should have done what the great Sahaabi woman Umm Sulaym did when she refused to marry Abu Talhah – who was a kaafir at the time – unless he became Muslim, and he did so. This was the greatest mahr (dowry) in Islam as Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said. (al-Nasaa’i, 3341; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani). 

The evidence that the marriage of a Muslim woman to a kaafir man is invalid is very clear. This is one of the matters on which there is unanimous agreement among all the scholars of the ummah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them; Allaah knows best as to their Faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them. But give them (disbelievers) that (amount of money) which they have spent (as their Mahr) to them. And there will be no sin on you to marry them if you have paid their Mahr to them. Likewise hold not the disbelieving women as wives…”

[al-Mumtahanah 60:10] 

“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”

[al-Baqarah 2:221] 

What your husband says and attributes to Islam is definitely false. Islam is not only for the time when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was sent, rather he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was sent to all of mankind until the Hour begins. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And We have not sent you (O Muhammad) except as a giver of glad tidings and a warner to all mankind, but most of men know not”

[Saba’ 34:28] 

“Say (O Muhammad): “O mankind! Verily, I am sent to you all as the Messenger of Allaah — to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He). It is He Who gives life and causes death. So believe in Allaah and His Messenger (Muhammad), the Prophet who can neither read nor write (i.e. Muhammad), who believes in Allaah and His Words [(this Qur’aan), the Tawraat (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel) and also Allaah’s Word: “Be!” — and he was, i.e. ‘Eesa (Jesus) son of Maryam (Mary)], and follow him so that you may be guided”

[al-A’raaf 7:158] 

It was narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have been given five things which were not given to any of the Prophets before me: I have been supported with fear to a distance of a month’s travelling; the earth has been made a place of prostration and a means of purification for me, so that wherever a man of my ummah is when the time for prayer comes, he may pray; war booty has been made permissible for me; the (previous) Prophets were sent only to their own people but I have been sent to all of mankind; and I have been given the power of intercession.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 438; Muslim, 432. 

Your husband’s belief that “the important thing is our hearts should be clean. It doesn’t matter if we drink or gamble” is a false notion. If the heart is clean and pure then the effects of that should be seen in a person’s outward actions. Outward righteousness is a sign of inward righteousness, and outward corruption is a sign of inward corruption. How can his heart be clean if he drinks alcohol or gambles or commits immoral actions? This is impossible. 

It was narrated that al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “What is permitted is obvious and what is forbidden is obvious, and between them are doubtful matters about which not many people know. Thus he who avoids doubtful matters clears himself with regard to his religious commitment and his honour, but he who falls into doubtful matters falls into that which is forbidden, like a shepherd who pastures around a sanctuary, all but grazing therein. Truly every king has a sanctuary and Allaah’s sanctuary is His prohibitions. And in the body there is a piece of flesh which, if it be whole, all the body is whole, and if it is diseased, all the body is diseased: it is the heart.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 52; Muslim, 1599. 

Conclusion: This marriage of yours is invalid and it is not permissible to allow him to be intimate with you unless he comes back to Islam and enters the faith by pronouncing the Shahaadatayn and following the rulings of Islam. If he does not do that then the marriage must be annulled in a sharee’ah court. If you cannot do that or if there is no sharee’ah court where you live, then you should ask him for a divorce. If he refuses then you should divorce him by means of khula’, returning his mahr or more or less so that you can be separated. 

And Allaah knows best.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and read tajweed and we also must teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then begin to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was railed and truth teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are involved if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity heart of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the information of the Word of God with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we carry on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one inquiry that we all needs to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad humen action to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the interrogation remains the identical that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Maker All these reply exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us connect hands to full fill our job. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

Wife and children eating from the husband’s haraam earnings

In many Muslim families, the men work in selling wine and pork and the like, and their wives and children hate this, while knowing that they are living off their menfolk’s money. Are they to blame at all in this case?

Praise be to Allaah.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):

“So keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him as much as you can…” [al-Taghaabun 64:16]

“Allaah burdens not a person beyond his scope…” [al-Baqarah 2:286]

Wives and children who are not able to earn their own halaal income are permitted to take what they need from the husband’s earnings from unlawful sources, such as selling wine and pork etc., after they have tried to convince him to find a halaal income and look for other work. They can take what is their right from the father, and this should be enough just to cover their needs, without being extravagant. And Allaah knows best.

A minor whose parents' income is haraam

If you are a minor and your parents earn income that might be haram for example they service businesses among them are bars, and deal with interest like when paying deposits on a apartments they rent out. My question is that there is I think (several hadith) where it says that Allah does not accept du'as and prayers of those who get there sustenance through haram means. If a little of the sustenance (money) is from haram means, and you are a minor in this case does hadith count in your case?

Expenditure is obligatory upon a father to his son/daughter according to the Islamic law and shari'ah, as regards his/her housing, clothing, food, drink and the like. However, the concept is not tied to being a "minor" in the sense of Western laws. The requirement according to Islamic shari'ah are: that the person spent upon is poor or does not own anything, or does not own or possess what is enough for his requirements and is unable to gain their own income. that the one spending has enough wealth to spend on himself and his wife. that the one spending and the one spent upon are of the same religion.

When the son/daughter is in need for expenses, then he/she is allowed to take from his/her father's earning even though it is haraam (forbidden). In such a case his/her du'aa' to Allaah won't be affected, since being a minor, he/she has neither might nor power. But while doing so, he/she should abide by the following observations:

Not to expand and widen the scope of taking or accepting from his/her father's illegitimate earnings. He/she should try if he/she is able to earn a halaal income to become independent and self-sufficient and no longer in need of the father's support. To try as hard as possible all ways to admonish and advise he/her parents in the hope that Allah Almighty may guide them towards repentance from haraam earnings.

He does not work and his wife is spending on him – is this considered to be a debt that he owes?

If the is not working and the wife works and uses her money to pay the rent,buys food, and pay's all the other bills in the house does the husband owe the wive the money she spent if it was not agreed that it was sadaqah?

Praise be to Allaah. 

We put this question to Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen, may Allaah preserve him, who answered as follows:

 If there was no prior agreement, this is considered to be a gift and a donation, so she does not have the right to ask for it back at the time when she spent this money of her own accord. But if there was a prior condition that the money should be repaid, then Muslims are bound by their conditions and she has the right to ask, when the husband can afford it, for all that she has spent on his house and children.

 And Allaah knows best.

Can she give charity from her housekeeping money without her husband’s knowledge?

My husband gives me some money for myself and my daughters every month, and I set aside a certain amount for charity without consulting him. Is it permissible to do this or do I have to consult him and ask him if he agrees to me giving this money in charity or not?.

Praise be to Allaah.

There is nothing wrong with a woman giving charity from her husband’s wealth if he has given her permission to do so. This permission may be explicit (verbal), such as if he says to her: “You can give such and such of my wealth in charity, or whatever you wish.” 

Or this permission may be implicit, such as if people ordinarily agree to such things or it is known from her husband’s attitude that he will agree to that and will not object. 

In that case there is nothing wrong with her giving charity from her husband’s wealth, and she will have the reward for that charity as will her husband too. 

But if he does not allow her, or if she knows that he would not agree to that, then in that case it is not permissible for her to give anything from his wealth in charity. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (4/301): 

Is it permissible for a woman to give a small amount in charity from her husband’s wealth without his permission? There are two views. One is that it is permissible, because ‘Aa’ishah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman spends anything from her husband’s household, without causing any harm, but she will have the reward for that, and he will have a similar reward because he earned it, and she will have a reward because she spent it, and the storekeeper will have a similar reward, without it detracting from the reward of any of them in the slightest.” And he did not mention the issue of permission. 

It was narrated from Asma’ that she came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I have nothing but that which al-Zubayr gives me. Is there any sin on me if I give charity from that which is given to me? He said: Give whatever you can. According to a report narrated by al-Bukhaari: “Give charity.” Agreed upon. 

The custom is to allow that and agree to it, and this implies permission. 

The second view is that it is not permitted, but the first view is more sound. 

If he forbids her to do that and says “Do not give anything in charity, do not donate a small or large amount of my wealth,” then it is not permissible for her to do that. End quote. 

The fact that it is not permissible for a woman to give any of her husband’s wealth in charity except with his permission is the hadeeth narrated by Abu Dawood (3565) from Abu Umaamah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “A woman should not spend anything from her husband’s household except with his permission.” It was said: “O Messenger of Allaah, not even food?” He said: “That is the best of our wealth.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

“Except with the permission of her husband” means explicit or implicit permission, as stated in ‘Awn al-Ma’bood. 

The Standing Committee was asked about a woman who gave charity from her husband’s wealth without permission.  

They replied: The basic principle is that a woman does not have the right to give any of her husband’s wealth in charity without his permission, except small things that are customarily given, such as upholding ties with neighbours and those who ask for help by giving small amounts that will not affect her husband, and the reward will be shared between them as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, … then they quoted the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah that is mentioned above. End quote.  

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (10/81). 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Is it permissible for a woman to give charity from her husband’s wealth on her own behalf or on behalf of one who is dead? 

He replied: It is well known that the husband’s wealth belongs to the husband and it is not permissible for anyone to give charity from the wealth of anyone else except with his permission. If the husband has given her permission to give charity on her own behalf, or on behalf of whomever she wishes among her deceased loved ones, there is no sin on her, but if he has not given permission then it is not permissible for her to give anything in charity, because it is his wealth and it is not permissible to take the wealth of a Muslim without his consent. End quote. 

Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (18/472)

 

Its the responsibility of every Moslem to learn Quran and tajweed and we also must teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then be conscious of the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was railed and truth teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are demanded if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity core of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the information of the Scripture with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the ability of Quran tafseer and one inquiry that we all is necessary to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad acts to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the interrogation remains the exact same that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Lord All these reply exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our task. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

The son has a family and his father is exhausting him with his financial demands

My father continually asks me for money and is exhausting me with his many demands. I have a family and commitments of my own. To what extent am I obliged to give him, and what is the meaning of the hadeeth, “You and your wealth belong to your father”?

Praise be to Allaah.

The hadeeth “You and your wealth belong to your father” was reported by Ibn Maajah (may Allah have mercy on him) in his Sunan from Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah, who said that a man said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have wealth and children, and my father wants to take all my wealth [to spend it on his own needs] and leave nothing.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You and your wealth belong to your father.” (In al-Zawaa’id it says: its isnaad is saheeh and its men are thiqaat according to the conditions of al-Bukhaari).

Imaam ‘Abd al-Razzaaq (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Musannaf:

‘Concerning a man who takes his son’s wealth

From ‘Aa’ishah who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘The best of what a man consumes is what he earns, and his children are part of his earnings.’”

From Muhammad ibn al-Munkadir: a man referred his dispute with his father over his earnings to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You and your wealth belong to your father.”

From ‘Aa’ishah who said: “A man can consume whatever he wishes of his son's wealth, but a son cannot consume anything of his father’s wealth without his permission.”

From Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyib, who said: “A man can take whatever he wants from his son's wealth, but a son should not take anything from his father’s wealth except with his consent.”

From Ibn Jurayj, who said: “ ‘Ataa’ did not see anything wrong with a man taking whatever he wanted of his son's wealth, even if it was not a case of necessity.”’

Then he said (may Allaah have mercy on him):

‘Those who say: a man should not take anything of his son's wealth except with his permission.

From Ibn Seereen, who said: “A son should honour his father, but each man has more right to that which he himself owns.”

Saalim reported that Hamzah ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar sacrificed a camel, then a beggar came to Ibn ‘Umar [i.e., ‘Abd-Allaah, the father of the one who offered the sacrifice]. ‘Abd-Allaah said, “It’s not mine [i.e., the meat of the sacrifice isn’t mine to give away].” Hamzah said: “O my father, you have my permission, so give away whatever you want of it.”

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book al-Mughni, commenting on this matter:

“Any father has the right to take whatever he wants of his son's wealth and to take possession of it, whether the father needs it or not, and whether the son is an adult or a child, provided two conditions are met. The first is that this should not be unfair to the son or cause him any harm, and that the father should not take anything that the son needs. The second is that he should not take from the wealth of one child to give it to another child. This is what was stated by Ahmad… This is because it is prohibited for a father to show favouritism in giving to one child from his own wealth, so the prohibition should apply even more to the case of a father taking from one child to give to another. ”

Abu Haneefah, Maalik and al-Shaafa'i said:

He does not have the right to take any more from his son's wealth than what he needs, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Your blood and your wealth are as sacred to you as this day of yours in this month of yours.” (Agreed upon). It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible to take the wealth of a Muslim except with his consent.” (Reported by al-Daaraqutni). The son has full ownership of his wealth, and it should not be taken away from him, as the case if he needs it . Our evidence for this is the report of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘The best of what you consume is what you earn, and your children are part of what you earn.’” (Reported by Sa’eed and al-Tirmidhi, who said: a hasan hadeeth). ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb reported, from his father, from his grandfather, who said: “A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘My father needed all my wealth.’ He said, ‘You and your wealth belong to your father.’” A longer version was reported by al-Tabaraani in al-Mu’jam, and by others, which adds: “Your children are among the best of your earnings, so consume whatever they have of wealth.” Muhammad ibn al-Munkadir and al-Mutlib ibn Hantab reported: “A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: ‘I have wealth and children, and my father has wealth and children, but my father wants to take my wealth.’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘You and your wealth belong to your father.’” (Reported by Sa’eed in his Sunan). Also, Allaah has described the child as a gift to his father, as He says (interpretation of the meanings):

“And We bestowed upon him Ishaaq, and (a grandson) Ya’qoob…” [al-Anbiya’ 21:72]

“… and We bestowed upon him Yahyaa…” [al-Anbiya’ 21:90]

“[Zakariya said:] ‘…So give me from Yourself an heir.’” [Maryam 19:5]

“[Ibraaheem said]: ‘All praises and thanks be to Allaah, Who has given me in old age Ismaa’eel and Ishaaq…’” [Ibraaheem 14:39]

Whoever is given to a person as a gift, he is allowed to take his wealth, just as he has the right to take the wealth of his slave. (al-Mughni, part 5).

In the dissertations and fatwas of the Mufti Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem ibn ‘Abd al-Lateef Aal al-Shaykh, it says the following:

A father is permitted to take from his son’s wealth, because of the sayings of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “You and your wealth belong to your father” (reported by the five and classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi) and “The best of what you consume is what you earn, and your children are part of your earnings” (reported by al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaa'i and Ibn Maajah from ‘Aa’ishah). The father’s taking from his son's earnings is subject to six conditions:

He should not take what his child needs or the loss of which would cause harm to his child.

He should not give it to another of his children.

He should not take anything when either of them is on his deathbed.

The father should not be a kaafir when the son is a Muslim.

The wealth should exist in a tangible form.

Whatever the father takes from his son becomes his when he takes it with the appropriate intention or a spoken statement.

This is the gist of what our fuqaha’ (may Allaah have mercy on them) have said, and this is our fatwa.

Is it better to get engaged and do the marriage contract a year later, or to do the marriage contract straight away so that he will not fall into haraam?

Which is better from a shar’i and practical point of view – for fear of disobeying Allaah –  
1. To get engaged for one year then do the marriage contract and consummate the marriage on the wedding night
2. To get engaged for a while then do the marriage contract three months before consummation
3. To do the marriage contract and then consummate the marriage one year later, with no engagement period? 
What is your opinion of these options? Please note that there may be some overstepping the limit before the marriage contract, such as looking at one’s fiancée with desire, speaking some words of love and holding hands sometimes.

Praise be to Allaah.

The fiancé is a stranger (non-mahram) to his fiancée so it is not permissible for him to shake hands with her, look at her with desire, be alone with her or speak words of love to her, etc. Rather Islam only permits him to look at her when proposing marriage without desire or being alone with her, because that will lead to a lasting marriage, lest there be anything that he dislikes in her that he does not know about but that may be a cause of him being put off by her in the future. 

What some people do, being lax with regard to their interactions with their fiancées and looking, being alone with them etc, is a great evil which should be avoided and warned against. 

If the fiancée cannot control himself with regard to the things that we have mentioned, then it is better for him to do the marriage contract straightaway, or shortly after getting engaged, so that he will avoid falling into haraam. It is well known that the one who has done the marriage contract is a husband and everything that is permissible for husbands is permissible for him, but he should not have intercourse until his wife moves in with him, in accordance with custom and so as to avoid any negative consequences that may result if intercourse takes place before the consummation is announced. 

There is nothing wrong with delaying consummation from the time of the contract, for a year or three months, depending on each partners’ circumstances. There is no specific rule in sharee’ah concerning this matter, rather it varies according to people’s circumstances. In the past the engagement, contract and consummation may all have taken place on one day, or it may have been done otherwise. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did the marriage contract with ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) when she was six years old and he consummated the marriage with her when she was nine. 

What matters is that you should avoid falling into haraam. Hence the one who cannot control himself during the engagement period should hasten to do the marriage contract. 

And Allaah knows best.

I proposed marriage to a religious girl, but she is not beautiful. Should I marry her?

I proposed marriage to a girl who is very religious but she is not beautiful, and I want a wife who is more beautiful. What is the right thing to do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

One of the important reasons for which Islam has prescribed marriage is to achieve chastity and to protect oneself and prevent one from looking at haraam things. In order to achieve that, Islam encourages looking at the fiancée before getting married to her, as that will ensure that love and affection will be generated between them, and will create a happy family, based on love, affection and respect, and neither spouse will be tempted to do something other than that which Allaah has permitted. Hence beauty is one of the attributes which one is encouraged to seek and pay attention to. 

It says in Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat, which is a Hanbali book (2/621): 

It is also Sunnah to choose a beautiful woman, because it is gives a greater sense of transquillity and is more likely to help him lower his gaze and love her more. Hence Islam prescribes looking (at one's fiancée) before marriage. 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: It was said: O Messenger of Allaah, which of women is best? He said: “The one who, when he looks at her he feels happy, when he tells her to do something she obeys him, and she does not go against his wishes with regard to herself or his wealth.” Narrated by Ahmad (2/251); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (1838). End quote. 

Some scholars regard it as mustahabb, if a man wants to propose marriage to a woman, to start by asking about her beauty first, then about her religious commitment. That is because it is known that people seek beauty first and foremost. 

Imam al-Bahooti said in Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat (2/621): 

He should not ask about her religious commitment until he has been told good things about her beauty. Ahmad said: If a man wants to propose marriage to a woman, he should ask about her beauty first, and if good things are said, he should ask about her religious commitment, and if good things are said, he should marry her. If he does not hear good things about her religious commitment, then he will have rejected her because of her religious commitment.  He should not ask about her religious commitment first, then if good things are said, the he asks about her beauty, then if he does not hear anything good, he rejects her because of beauty and not because of religious commitment. End quote. 

What is blameworthy is when a man seeks beauty and forgets about character and religious commitment – which form the foundation of happiness and righteousness. As this is how most people are, the hadeeth urges them to look for one who is religiously committed and of good character, to stop people focussing on outward appearances and ignoring inward qualities. 

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4802) and Muslim (1466). 

Al-Nawawi said in Sharh Muslim (10/52): 

The correct view concerning the meaning of this hadeeth is that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was speaking of what people usually do, which is that they look for these four characteristics, the last of which in their view is religious commitment, but you who are rightly guided should choose the one who is religiously committed. End quote. 

The view that it is mustahabb to seek beauty in one’s intended wife does not mean that dazzling beauty is essential, and that a young man should imagine the image of a girl who is one of the most beautiful women in the world and spend his whole life pursuing the image that he wants, because in most cases he will not find her, she may be weak in religious commitment and character. 

Rather what is meant by beauty is the kind of beauty by means of which a man will keep himself chaste and avoid haraam things, and he will refrain from looking at other women. The definition of that beauty will vary from one person to another, and what matters is the opinion of the one who is proposing marriage. 

Our advice to you is not to propose marriage to any girl unless you know that she is of the level of beauty that you are happy with, so that it will not be a matter of initial keenness after which you get fed up or start looking for something new, which will lead to a difficult series of problems in married life. 

Whatever the case, the matter of religious commitment should take precedence over everything else. 

With this balanced approach and balanced way of thinking, you can build a happy family life, in sha Allaah. I ask Allaah to help you and decree good for you.  

See also the answer to question no. 8391 and 21510. 

And Allaah knows best.

She gets marriage proposals but she is hesitant to accept

Although I want to get married and have children, like all women, I am very hesitant to go ahead and do that. I have had offers, but I am worried that ifI agree to marry someone, he will turn out to be not of good character, and I do not know what will happen to me after that. 
I hope that you can advise me about my problem.

Praise be to Allaah.

What is prescribed for young people – both male and female – is to hasten to get married, following the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, and whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5065), Muslim (1400).  

This will also protect their chastity and bring stability. 

Our advice to you is to accept the one who is religiously committed and of good character, after praying for guidance (istikhaarah) and consulting others. That is because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him.” (al-Tirmidhi, 1084), from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

Those who are religiously committed and of good character are not unknown; they have their characteristics and signs, such as adherence to the Sunnah, regularly offering prayers in congregation, keeping company with righteous people and keeping away from temptation and evil. 

Beware of hesitating and refusing too much, because if one goes away today, you may not see another like him tomorrow, as the poet says:

I had made the most the most of the opportunities I had, I would have attained great things. 

If a suitor comes to you, then pray istikhaarah first. You will find a description of istikhaarah in the answer to question no. 2217. 

If there is any good for you in that, Allaah will make it easy for you, otherwise Allaah will divert it from you by His knowledge. 

Then your family should try to find out about the suitor by asking those who know him, such as his neighbours, colleagues at work, and the imam of his mosque. If he is righteous, regularly offers prayers in congregation and treats others well, then accept his proposal and be resolved and do not hesitate. If there is good in that for you, then Allaah will make it easy for you, otherwise He will divert it from you

whether he is righteous, regularly offers prayers in congregation and treats others well.  

It is also important to ask about the family of the suitor, for his mother may not be of good character, or there may be some deviance in his family which does not give hope for a decent life for you. 

If Allaah sends you someone who appears to be of good character and is keen to follow his religion, and is serious about marriage and is qualified for it, then accept his proposal and be resolute and do not hesitate. As the poet Tarafah ibn al-‘Abd said: 

If you have made a decision then be resolute, for hesitating makes any decision worthless. 

We ask Allaah to guide you and make you steadfast. 

And Allaah knows best.

She received a proposal from an engineer who works in a bank – should she accept?

A newly graduated architectural engineer proposed marriage to me, but he works in the engineering administration department of a bank that specializes in building apartments and luxury buildings. Should I accept or refuse?.

Praise be to Allaah.

A woman should be keen to choose a righteous husband who will fear Allaah with regard to her and will feed her and her children with halaal income and help them to avoid that which is haraam. 

Hence we appreciate this question from you, as it indicates that you are concerned about this matter. We say: if the bank where this person works is a riba-based bank which markets and sells its apartments and buildings on the basis of riba, then it is not permissible to work there, or to help it with its projects in any way whatsoever. 

Similarly, it is not permissible to work in building apartments or places for sin, such as leisure venues, places for gambling, riba based banks and the like. 

It is on this basis that this suitor should be accepted or rejected. If his work is permissible and he is religiously committed and of good character, then accept him. But if his work is haraam or he is not religiously committed and of good character, then do not accept him, because marrying him will result in harm that will affect you and your children. 

We ask Allaah for guidance. 

And Allaah knows best.

He kissed his fiancée and touched her; is she haraam for him?

There is a young man and there is a girl whom he wants to marry, and the two families agree. But before they got married he touched her breasts (sorry for saying that, but it is in order to explain the matter) and he put his hand and his head and his mouth on her chest… They want to repent from this sin. The young man is also experiencing strange thoughts that may be waswaas from the shaytaan, and we seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed shaytaan. These strange thoughts include the notion that because he touched this girl’s breasts, she is haraam for him, especially since that happened when there was some talk about breastfeeding an adult. I have read this hadeeth and the reasons for it, and I have also read many other ahaadeeth, which say that there is no breastfeeding after the age of two years or after weaning. But the shaytaan comes at him from all places. Now he wants to marry this girl but the shaytaan is whispering to him that this marriage is haraam. What should I do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible for a fiancé to touch his fiancée, or be alone with her, or kiss her, because he is a stranger to her (non-mahram) until the marriage contract is done. It is only permissible for him to look at her when proposing marriage so that he will marry her knowing about her, and this could help to make the marriage successful. 

Based on this, what you mention about touching the breasts etc is haraam and he has to repent from that, as well as regretting it, praying for forgiveness and resolving never to do that again. 

Each of them also has to keep away from things that may lead to temptation and things that may tempt them to do haraam things, and they should be keen for their married life not to start with disobedience towards Allaah, may He be exalted. 

Secondly: 

The things mentioned do not mean that the girl becomes haraam for him (a mahram), even if we assume that he breastfed from her, because breastfeeding of an adult does not have any effect, according to the majority of scholars. See also question no. 2864. 

The issue referred to in the question has to do with sucking the breast and drinking milk, not just kissing or sucking without milk being produced. 

To sum up: all they have to do is repent to Allaah, may He be exalted, and they should hasten to get married if possible. 

Thirdly: 

The best treatment for waswaas is to remember Allaah constantly (dhikr) and to offer prayers regularly on time with the congregation, and to adhere to obedience to Allaah, may He be exalted. Then one should ignore the waswasah and not pay any attention to it. 

And Allaah knows best.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then be aware of the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vilified and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the replies that are postulated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity center of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the information of the Book with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is required to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad human activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the query remains the very same that reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to respond is there any Almighty All these reply can be found when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us link up hands to full fill our responsibility. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

 

He took his wife back during her ‘iddah on the basis of a fatwa but she obtained a different fatwa and married someone else

I was married to a woman and had a son from her, then there were some differences between me and her and I divorced her. During the ‘iddah, there was an argument between me and her brother, and I swore an oath and said: “If So and so does not come back to my house before Fajr, then she is thrice-divorced.” But her brother did not let her, so she did not come back. At that time I had not taken her back (formally, as a wife). After a short while I sought a fatwa and was told that it was permissible for me to take her back but I did not ask whether the second talaaq had taken place or not. Two years later there were major problems in which her family played a major role, and I divorced her, but during the ‘iddah I met her and there happened between us that which happens between husband and wife. I asked one of the scholars working in the court in my city and he gave me a fatwa in writing stating that the divorce that I did not ask about did not count as such, because a divorce issued to an already-divorced woman does not count, and my taking her back by means of intercourse was valid, and I also asked two friends to testify that I had taken her back and told my wife about that, but I did not tell her family because of the severity of the discord in the family. My family got angry with me when they found out that I had taken her back. But I asked her to bear that with patience and to let the taking back continue in secret until I was able to become independent of my family. After one year, during which I used to meet with her in secret and we would sometimes do what husbands and wives do, Allaah blessed me with the opportunity to travel abroad to complete my studies. I got in touch with her ten days before I was due to travel and told her that Allaah had given us a solution to our problem. I asked her to wait for one or two months, and I would tell her how Allaah had granted me a way out, then I left and did not tell her. One week after I left, my family suddenly told me that my ex-wife (or so they thought) had got married! I became very distressed and I did not know what to do, as I was abroad and I did not believe it. I tried to contact my wife and she told me that she thought that I was deceiving her all that time and that I had betrayed her, because she knew that the period of travel would not be less than five years, and she claimed that she had consulted a scholar on the radio as to whether intercourse with the wife without the intention of taking her back was regarded as taking her back or not, and he told her that the intention was essential. 
I asked for advice and was told that I had the right to refer the matter to court to seek a separation, or to divorce her, so long as I told her so that she could observe the iddah following divorce. Please note that they married her to someone else without taking the divorce papers from me, and that is what Ii intended to tell them when they asked me about the divorce papers.

Praise be to Allaah.

The most beloved deed of the troops of Iblees to him is causing separation between man and wife. The devils keep competing in that so as to attain the honour of being close to Iblees and gaining high status before him. 

It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Iblees places his throne over the water, then he sends out his troops, and the one who is closest in status to him is the one who causes the greatest amount of fitnah (tribulation or temptation). One of them comes and says, I have done such and such, and he says: You have not done anything. Then one of them comes and says: I did not leave him until I separated him and his wife. Then he draws him close to him and says: How good you are.” Narrated by Muslim (2813). 

What we see, hear and read of the actions of husbands and wives points to the success of the devils in achieving their aims. The divorce rate in Muslim countries is frightening. And if you look for the reasons you will see that it rarely has to do with religion. Most of it has to do with insignificant worldly matters, so the husband acts in haste, gets angry and divorces his wife, then the family is divided and scattered, and the children are lost. 

Perhaps the one who reads this will think carefully before divorcing, and he will strive to do that which will make his family happy and avoid divorce, so that he will not bring misery upon himself and his family. 

Secondly: 

In general terms, there are differences of opinion among the scholars concerning many cases of divorce. Whatever the husband knows of the rulings before he utters the words of divorce, he should adhere to what he knows, and whatever he does not know about, if he asks someone whose religious commitment and knowledge he trusts, then he has to follow the fatwa he issues, and it is not permissible for him to move from one scholar to another in order to find another fatwa. He should not have any doubts, for he has done that which Allaah has enjoined of asking the people of knowledge, and it is obligatory for him to follow the ruling, especially if there is a ruling issued by an Islamic judge, because the ruling of the judges is decisive in cases of differences of opinion, and the questioner must accept the answer of a trustworthy scholar. 

Thirdly: 

What the scholars said about a divorce issued to an already-divorced woman not counting as such is a view that was favoured by a number of scholars, including Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, and by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen among contemporary scholars. 

Fourthly: 

What the scholars said to you that your having intercourse with your wife is regarded as taking her back is the view of the Hanafis and Hanbalis, and there is nothing wrong with you following this opinion, because you did what you were enjoined to do, namely asking the people of knowledge, and asking about a matter that is subject to ijtihaad in which the scholars have differed. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

The apparent meaning of the words of al-Khuraqi is that taking back is only achieved verbally. This is the view of al-Shaafa’i and is one of the two views narrated from Ahmad. 

The second view is that taking back is achieved by means of intercourse, whether or not he intended to take her back. This view was favoured by Ibn Haamid and al-Qaadi. This is the view of Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyab, al-Hasan, Ibn Sireen, ‘Ata’, Tawoos, al-Zuhri, al-Thawri, al-Awzaa’i, Ibn Abi Layla and ashaab al-ra’i. End quote. 

Al-Mughni (8/482). 

We think that your telling your wife of the fatwa and taking her back, and bringing two witnesses to the taking back, may have been another way to confirm that you were taking her back, in addition to having intercourse. Your telling her and the two witnesses is a clear statement that you took her back. 

Whatever the case, you asked for advice and were told that she had been taken back, and you told her and bought witnesses to confirm the taking back. 

Based on this, the fact that your wife says that she consulted one of the scholars who gave her a fatwa saying that your taking her back did not count as such because you had intercourse without the intention of taking her back is of no significance, because you consulted someone and told her of the fatwa and brought witnesses to that, thus the taking back was done in the proper manner, and there is no way for your wife to disagree with that. 

Fifthly: 

Telling your family and your wife’s family is not a condition of taking her back, and in fact it is not a condition that the wife tell them herself. A husband may take back his revocably-divorced wife (first or second talaaq) even if she is far away from him, and it is not a condition that she be told or even agree to it. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation” [al-Baqarah 2:228].  

Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The scholars are unanimously agreed that if a free man divorces his free wife, and he had consummated the marriage with her, and it is a first or second talaaq, then he has more right to take her back so long as the ‘iddah has not ended, even if the wife disagrees. 

Tafseer al-Qurtubi (3/120). 

But it would have been better to tell her family that you had taken back your wife back. The fact that you did not tell her may have caused them to do this terrible evil, which is marrying her to someone else, thinking that your divorce and your absence meant that their daughter was divorced fully and was able to remarry. 

Allaah has enjoined bringing witnesses to taking back a wife in the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “And take as witness two just persons from among you (Muslims)” [al-Talaaq 65:2], so as to put an end to disputes, inform people and alert the heedless to the number of divorces. 

The fuqaha’ indicated that if there are no witnesses to the taking-back, that may result in disputes and arguments as to whether the wife has been taken back or not, and the woman may end up marrying another man, thinking that she has not been taken back (by the first husband). 

In al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (22/114) it says: 

The majority of fuqaha’ are of the view that it is mustahabb to tell the wife that she has been taken back, because that will put an end to the disputes that may arise between man and wife. 

Al-‘Ayni said:  It is mustahabb to tell her (i.e., to tell the wife that she has been taken back), because otherwise she might get married on the basis of her belief that her husband has not taken her back and her ‘iddah has ended, and she may have intercourse with the new husband, thus she will be sinning for not asking her husband, and he will be sinning for not telling her. But even if he does not tell her, the taking-back is still valid, because it is the continuation of an existing marriage and is not the initiation of a new one and the husband is exercising his rights, and for a man to exercise his right he does not need to inform others. End quote. 

Now what you must do is refer the matter to the sharee’ah court, and present the written fatwa from this scholar, and bring the two witnesses, to prove that you had in fact taken your wife back. 

If you can inform everyone of the matter without going to the sharee’ah court, that is fine. 

We should point out that if you do not want to take her back, it is not permissible for you to keep quiet about the matter. After setting things straight, you can divorce her if you wish, but you should understand that if you keep quiet, her second marriage will remain invalid, and this is a serious evil. 

We ask Allaah to help you to do that which pleases Him and to make good easy for you. 

And Allaah knows best.