Returning greetings to kaafirs falls into three categories

 

If a kaafir greets a Muslim, should he return his greeting? If he holds out his hand to shake hands, what is the ruling? And what is the ruling on serving him by giving him tea when he is sitting in a chair?.

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said: 

If a kaafir greets a Muslim in a clear
manner, and says, “Al-salaamu ‘alaykum (peace be upon you),” then one should say, “Wa ‘alayka al-salaam (and upon you be peace),” because Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“When
you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally”

[al-Nisa’ 4:86] 

But if it is not clear, one should just say,
“Wa ‘alayk (and also upon you).” 

Similarly if his greeting is clear and he
says, “Al-saam ‘alaykum (may death be upon you),” then one should say, “Wa ‘alayk (and also upon you).” 

The three categories are as follows: 

1 – If he clearly says, “Al-saam ‘alaykum
(may death be upon you),” then one should reply, “Wa ‘alaykum (and also upon you).” 

2 – If there is some doubt as to whether he
said “al-saam (death)” or “al-salaam (peace),” then one should reply, “Wa ‘alaykum (and also upon you).” 

3 – If he clearly says, “Al-salaamu ‘alaykum
(peace be upon you),” then one should reply, “Wa ‘alaykum al-salaam (and upon you be peace),” because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): 

“When
you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally”

[al-Nisa’ 4:86] 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said:  

If the listener is certain that what he said
to him was “Al-salaamu ‘alaykum (peace be upon you), and he does not have any doubts about that, should he say, “Wa ‘alayka al-salaam (and upon
you be peace)” or should he limit it to “wa ‘alayk (and also upon you).” What is indicated by the evidence and the basic principles of sharee’ah
is that one should respond, “Wa ‘alayka al-salaam (and upon you be peace)”, because this comes under the heading of fairness and justice, and
Allaah enjoins justice and kindness. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“When
you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally”

[al-Nisa’ 4:86] 

So He recommends kindness and enjoins
justice. This does not contradict any of the ahaadeeth which speak of this issue, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) only enjoined limiting the response to “Wa ‘alaykum” for the reason mentioned above, which is that they used to play with the words in their
greeting. Then Ibn al-Qayyim said: Even though the general meaning of the verse is applicable, this refers to the usual words of greeting, not
when they are playing with the words. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And
when they come to you, they greet you with a greeting wherewith Allaah greets you not, and say within themselves: ‘Why should Allaah punish us not
for what we say?’”

[al-Mujaadilah 58:8] 

 If this reason does not apply, and the
kitaabi (Christian or Jew) says, ‘Al-salaamu ‘alaykum wa rahmat-Allaah (peace be upon you and the mercy of Allaah),” then it is only fair and just
to respond in a similar manner. 

Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah,
200/1 

In Saheeh al-Bukhaari it is narrated
from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the Jews greet you,
they say, ‘Al-saam ‘alaykum (death be upon you),’ so say, ‘Wa ‘alayk (and also upon you).” 

If he holds out his hand to shake hands with
you, then hold out your hand too, but do not initiate the handshake. 

With regard to serving a kaafir by giving him tea when he is sitting in a chair, this is
makrooh, but there is nothing wrong with putting the cup on the table.