Is the hadeeth which speaks of ignoring a person who caused offence 100 times saheeh?

One year ago i asked a question to someone which i shouldnt of asked, the person didnt like it and decided not to talk with me or talk less. 1 year later i found out the reason was this thats why she wasnt talking to me, i asked her why she said the prophet said if someone hurts u in any way the ignore them 100 times. Is this correct? Can you explain what the saying is and if its a strong hadith, and if she did the right thing??.

Praise be to Allaah.

We have not come across any hadeeth with this meaning, and we do not think that that is saheeh or acceptable. There are many saheeh hadeeths which warnn the Muslim against forsaking or ignoring his fellow Muslim. There are also many verses and hadeeths which encourage forgiving mistakes, overlooking faults and forgiving brothers and friends if they make any mistake. So how can a hadeeth which encourages forsaking a Muslim for no legitimate reason be saheeh? 

Ameer al-Mu’mineen ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:

It is not permissible for a Muslim who hears a word from his brother to think bad of it when he can find something good about it.

Al-Tamheed by Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr (18/20). 

Al-Ahnaf ibn Qays said: The right of a friend is that three things should be put up with from him: offences when he is angry, offences due to familiarity and offences made in error. Someone else said: I never reviled anyone, because if a dignified person reviled me, it is more incumbent on me to adopt a forgiving towards him, and if an ignoble person reviled me, I would not give him any extra reason to insult my honour.  

See: Ihya’ ‘Uloom al-Deen (2/183-186). 

You should understand that one of the greatest aims of the accursed shaytaan and one of his worst tricks is to instil resentment and enmity among Muslims. 

It was narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (May Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “Shaytaan has despaired of being worshipped by the worshippers in the Arabian Peninsula, but his aim is to create troubles among them.” 

Hence Allaah has forbidden everything that may lead to enmity and resentment among the Muslims. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Shaytaan (Satan) wants only to excite enmity and hatred between you with intoxicants (alcoholic drinks) and gambling, and hinder you from the remembrance of Allaah and from As‑Salaah (the prayer). So, will you not then abstain?”

[al-Maa’idah 5:91] 

You can read the hadeeths which criticise the one who forsakes another in the book of Imam al-Mundhiri entitled al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb (3/304). In it he has a chapter entitled: Warning against forsaking one another, bearing grudges against one another and turning away from one another, in which he compiled most of what is narrated in the Sunnah on this topic. 

Please see also the answers to questions number 26333, 98636, 21878, 65500. 

And Allaah knows best.