I am married for 5 years and have 1 1/2 year old daughter. My wife is stubborn and non comprising. Her stubbornness is deep rooted psychological problem because if I do not do things as per her wish then she starts crying sometime late night and then slowly she goes into depression.
From the beginning my wife disliked my family. She would never let me have a good family time. She mistreated my mother several times. Because my wife goes into depression I have not taken any strong action. But now I can not tolerate this behaviour. I want to take care of mother and give her happiness too.
Her parents have failed to make her behave in good manners.They advised her to go to a psychiatrist, but she does not want to go. I know she is mentally ill to a certain extent. Please advice.
We appreciate your confidence in us, and we
ask Allaah to guide us all to the right path.
I have read your letter more than once and I
feel that it is difficult for me to understand the issues properly, because it seems to be somewhat complicated, so I cannot blame one of you. But
I feel that both of you have some share of blame for the problem.
But I can offer the following advice and
suggest that you do these things, and I ask Allaah to make this a help for you in solving your problem.
Firstly:
Each of you must come back to Allaah because
sin has an effect on people’s family lives and on all their relationships. Hence one of the salaf said: when I commit sin, I see its effect on my
family and my riding-beast. This confirms what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, according to the hadeeth
narrated by Abu Hurayrah who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When Allaah loves a person He
calls Jibreel and says, ‘I love So and so, so love him.’ Then Jibreel loves him, then he calls out in the heavens saying, ‘Allaah loves him, so
love him.’ Then the inhabitants of heaven love him, and he also finds acceptance on earth. But if Allaah hates a person, He calls Jibreel and
says, ‘I hate So and so, so hate him.’ Then Jibreel hates him, then he calls out in the heavens saying, ‘Allaah hates So and so, so hate him.’ So
they hate him, and he is also hated on earth.”
Secondly:
Each person must turn towards his Lord and
call upon him. Allaah Says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Is not He (better than your gods) Who
responds to the distressed one, when he calls on Him, and Who removes the evil”
[al-Naml 27:62]
So he must persist in du’aa’, and seek out the times when du’aa’
is more likely to be accepted, such as the last third of the night, when our Lord descends and calls out, “Who will call upon Me, that I may
answer him; who will seek My forgiveness, that I may forgive him; who will ask of Me, that I may give to him; who will repent to Me, that I may
accept his repentance?” So you should call upon your Lord and have certain faith that He will respond, but do not try to hasten the response, for
Allaah will respond to His slave so long as he does not try to hasten the response and does not say “I made du’aa’ but I received no answer.”
The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has not sent down any malady but He has also sent down the remedy; those who know it, know it, and those who do
not know it, do not know it.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 3397; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1650). So you must
recite the du’aa’s that are prescribed in sharee’ah, such as ruqyah, reciting Qur’aan, etc. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And We send down of the Qur’aan that which
is a healing and a mercy to those who believe”
[al-Isra’ 17:82]
If she refuses to be checked out by a
psychiatrist, then there is nothing wrong with your trying to mediate between them.
Fourthly:
What your wife needs most from you is that
you should be warm and loving towards her. For example, take her for a drive in the car to a place that is calming and soothing to the nerves, or
take her on a trip to another city. Insist kindly on taking her out if she refuses and choose activities that she is accustomed to and that she
likes, such as going to a place that she likes or letting her do some of her hobbies.
Fifthly:
Do not be forceful if she refuses to
cooperate, because for the one who is depressed you can draw attention to things but you cannot demand him to do things, because that will
increase his feelings of failure.
Sixthly:
I advise you to be kind and gentle, for there
is no kindness in a thing but it adorns it .
Finally, you should note that the person who
is suffering from depression is lethargic and is not interested in improving his situation, such as trying to recover from depression by himself.
Remember that most cases of depression can be dealt with but it may need a long time and goodly patience. Remember that you may be one of the
causes of her illness, so do not rush to end the relationship. You have to help her to get out of the situation she is in, and remember that no
matter how difficult it is to be patient, the results will be good,
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah send
blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family and companions.
From Quran Blog
And important note that we want to discuss and share with you it is about Quran reading and doing Quran recitation online to understand it, Ramadan is the month when the beautiful the Holy Quran has been revealed. A miracle by the creator of the worlds, Allah (SWT) Should we not glorify him by reading quran the gift he has sent down for us and learn Arabic Quran by heart to feel the power of it and we as Muslim should try to learn quran with translation to understand it wile we do Quran memorization and let our heart fill will tears of glory and wash away our sins in the month of Ramadan many people teach quran and we should participate in teaching quran as much as we could because it is the noble cause to spread the word of Allah and the quran tutor will get the reword in the day of judgment “Will they not meditate on the Quran, or are there locks on the hearts”, Quran for kids , Surah Muhammad, Verse 24. Here is an interesting tajweed quran reciter where you can listen to quran from top Koran reciters and read the Koran with different translation and plz link to it and share it to promote islam
End from holy Quran reciter blog
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