I am firstly 19, canadian convert.I gave birth two mths ago to my second child.alhumdulilah. My being on my menses was a very difficult and trialing time for me.I have had alot of problems during this time(alhumdulilah for allthe good and bad) so during this time i aquired the habit of tending to swear to get out my frustraion of my overwhelming work. I understand the hadith that women willget punished for bad usage of theeir tongues. I am at a point now. where I am trying to be patient and I am trying to hold my tongue from saying inproper statements but I find my anger getting the best of me. I need to know firstly If there is any way that I can try to control these problems of anger ,swearing and feeling overwhelmed?(any dua'as?) and also is my husband allowed to do any physical harm to me or divorce whilest I am TRYING MY BEST to my knowledge to control myself with out the help of my husband or friends or family. I have begged my husband repeadedly begged my husband to help me help my iman and to help me to teach me more islam and read quran to me since I have no tapes and do not know how to read qur'an.I feel Alhumdulilah my husband is the best. I just want to know under these circumstances if he can divorce or physically harm me in anyway.Since I am trying my best to abide by allah tothe best that i can.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We praise Allaah for having guided you to Islam and we ask
Him to increase you in guidance, faith and steadfastness.
Secondly:
Menstruation is something that Allaah has decreed for women.
It is well known that the menstruating woman may feel stressed and irritable
during her menses, but she has to fear Allaah and try hard to be patient;
she has to restrain her tongue and avoid things that Allaah has forbidden
such as swearing, insulting others, and so on. She must strive to control
herself with regard to that (jihad al-nafs), and she will find a change and
improvement, in sha Allaah.
Thirdly:
The husband should pay attention to his wife’s feelings and
be sympathetic if she is suffering with anything. He should overlook her
mistakes and try to comfort her, and be patient in doing so. He should not
hasten to punish her or leave her, for married life is not based on
separation, rather it is based on stability and continuity. Life is not free
of disturbances, and the couple will succeed to the extent that they are
able to overcome troubles and create happiness and affection between one
another.
Fourthly:
The husband has no right to harm his wife physically; it is
not permissible for him to hit her except in the case where other means of
correction have failed, such as warning her and forsaking her in her bed.
If hitting becomes permissible, then it should not be done with the
intention of causing harm, rather the intention should be to rebuke and
discipline. Hence it is stipulated that it should not be a blow that leaves
a mark or causes pain. But hitting should not be resorted to except in
extreme cases.
End quote from Fataawa ‘Ushrat al-Nisa’, p. 151, by
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him).
Fifthly:
The husband should help his family to obey Allaah and make it
easy for them to acquire beneficial knowledge, by bringing home books and
tapes, or taking them to Islamic centres so that they can learn how to read
Qur’aan and about Islam. If your husband falls short in this regard, you can
acquire many tapes through the Internet or by contacting some Islamic
centres that are close to you.
Sixthly:
Anger, swearing and feelings overwhelmed with what you have
to do may be dealt with in several ways:
1 – Seeking refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan
when feeling angry. Al-Bukhaari (3282) and Muslim (2610) narrated that
Sulaymaan ibn Surad said: I was sitting with the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) and two men were trading insults, One of
them was red in the face and his veins were standing out. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I know a word which, if
he said it, what he is feeling would go away. If he said, ‘I seek refuge
with Allaah from the Shaytaan,’ what he is feeling would go away.”
2 – Changing one’s posture when feeling angry. Abu Dawood
(4782) narrated that Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to
us: “If one of you gets angry when he is standing, let him sit down; if his
anger disappears, all well and good, otherwise let him lie down.” Classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
3 – Bring to mind the reward for patience, forbearance and
restraining your anger, for that is the characteristic of the pious who are
promised Paradise, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And march forth in the
way (which leads to) forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as
the heavens and the earth, prepared for Al-Muttaqoon (the pious).
134. Those who spend (in Allaah’s Cause) in prosperity and
in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allaah loves
Al-Muhsinoon (the good‑doers)”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:133-134]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “Whoever restrains his anger when he is able to act upon it, Allaah
will fill his heart with pleasure on the Day of Resurrection.” Narrated by
Ibn Abi’l-Dunya; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb,
2623.
4 – Remember that anger
and swearing will not avail you anything and will not relieve you of any
burden, rather you earn sin thereby, and they bring more worry and stress.
Help and ease only come by drawing close to Allaah, may He be exalted, and
by striving to obey Him.
5 – You should organize your time and hasten to carry out any
tasks you have to do, so that they will not pile up and make you feel
overwhelmed.
6 – You should avail yourself of the beneficial treatment
that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught to
his daughter Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her), when she complained
that she had too much work and it was burdensome, and she needed a servant.
Al-Bukhaari (6318) and Muslim (2728) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah
be pleased with him) that Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her) came to
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him
for a servant, complaining about her work. He said to her: “Shall I not tell
you of something that is better for you than a servant? Say Subhaan-Allaah
(Glory be to Allaah) thirty-three times, al-hamdu-Lillaah (praise be
to Allaah) thirty-three times, and Allaahu akbar (Allaah is Most
Great) thirty-four times when you go to bed.” Some of the scholars have
explained this hadeeth by noting that the one who regularly remembers Allaah
will be given strength that is greater than the strength used by a servant,
or things will become easy for him and he will no longer need a servant.
End quote from Fath al-Baari.
We ask Allaah to grant you help, steadfastness and success.
And Allaah knows best
From Quran Blog
And important note that we want to discuss and share with you it is about Quran reading and doing Quran recitation online to understand it, Ramadan is the month when the beautiful the Holy Quran has been revealed. A miracle by the creator of the worlds, Allah (SWT) Should we not glorify him by reading quran the gift he has sent down for us and learn Arabic Quran by heart to feel the power of it and we as Muslim should try to learn quran with translation to understand it wile we do Quran memorization and let our heart fill will tears of glory and wash away our sins in the month of Ramadan many people teach quran and we should participate in teaching quran as much as we could because it is the noble cause to spread the word of Allah and the quran tutor will get the reword in the day of judgment “Will they not meditate on the Quran, or are there locks on the hearts”, Quran for kids , Surah Muhammad, Verse 24. Here is an interesting tajweed quran reciter where you can listen to quran from top Koran reciters and read the Koran with different translation and plz link to it and share it to promote islam
End from holy Quran reciter blog
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