Praise be to Allaah.
Islam allows the man to look at his fiancée and speak to her
about necessary matters to do with the marriage, and the man is encouraged
to look at his fiancée when thinking of proposing, because that will bring
their hearts closer together and generate the love and compassion that are
the aim of the marriage.
It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that he
proposed marriage to a woman, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “Look at her, for that will help bring your hearts
together.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1087); he said: this is a hasan
hadeeth.
What it means is that it helps to create love and harmony
between you, because if you marry her after having gotten to know her, in
most cases there will be no regrets.
See: Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi.
There is no sin on you if you sit with your fiancée in order
to work out some details of the wedding, but you should not be alone with
her, so one of her mahrams or her mother should sit with you, and there is
nothing wrong with that in sha Allaah.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked the
following question in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (20/429):
I love a girl very much and she also loves me. I have seen
her only once, and I started to speak to her by phone within respectable
limits, and we agreed to get married. Most of my conversations with her have
to do with married life and the mutual understanding between spouses that is
necessary, and how a wife should treat her husband and look after his house,
and so on. Is it permissible for me to speak to her if she calls me, or is
that not permissible?
He (may Allaah have mercy on him) replied:
If a man wants to propose marriage to a woman, it is
permissible for him to speak with her and look at her without being alone.
When a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) to ask his opinion, he said: “Have you looked at her?” He said: No. He
said: “Go and look at her.” And he said: “When one of you proposes marriage
to a woman, if he can look at that which will encourage him to go ahead and
marry her, let him do so.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (1783).
Looking is more serious than speaking, so if the conversation
has to do with the marriage and where they will live, and how married life
should be so that he will know whether she is familiar with these issues,
there is nothing wrong with that if he wants to propose marriage to her. But
if he does not want to propose marriage to her, then he has no right to do
that. So long as he wants to marry her, it is permissible for him to talk to
her about the engagement and about that which will encourage him to marry
her, and she may do likewise, so long as they are not alone together; rather
it should be done from a distance and in the presence of her father, brother
or mother etc. End quote.
See also question no. 36807.
And Allaah knows
best.
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