Thursday 30 June 2011

Should he marry a girl who insists on going out wearing adornment (tabarruj) even though her character is good?

Should he marry a girl who insists on going out wearing adornment (tabarruj) even though her character is good?
I am a Muslim who is able to get married, and I have met a girl who has a good character but she goes out wearing adornment. What is the Islamic ruling if I marry her and she insists on going out wearing adornment?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
encouraged us to marry women who are religiously committed. He said: “Women
may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty
and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed,
may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may your prosper).” Narrated by
al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466. 

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“This world is transient comforts, and the best of the comforts of this
world is a righteous woman.” Narrated by Muslim, 1467. Whoever fails to find
a righteous wife misses out on the best of the comforts of this world, one
that is better than wealth, children and status, etc. 

This should motivate the Muslim to seek a wife who is
religiously committed and of good character, and to give such a woman
precedence over all others, and not to be heedless about the best of the
comforts of this world. 

A righteous woman is the one who pays attention to the rights
of Allaah and the rights of other people, and the person who has the
greatest rights over her is her husband. 

Persisting in sin is worse than the sin itself, because it is
indicative of weakness of faith and failure to respect Allaah, and it means
that the person is careless about things that may be detrimental to his
religious commitment. 

Secondly: 

As well as being an act of disobedience and sin, going out
wearing one’s adornment is also indicative of a woman’s bad attitude and
lack of modesty. How can a chaste and modest woman be content to have people
look at her and enjoy her beauty? 

But because of her weakness of faith and the strength of her
whims and desires, the woman who goes out wearing her adornment does not
realize how bad her action is, as Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):  

“and Shaytaan (Satan) made fair‑seeming to them that which
they used to do”

[al-An’aam 6:43] 

Many of those who used to
go out wearing their adornment, when Allaah blesses them with guidance,
become appalled at their former immodest ways. 

There are well known
reports which warn against tabarruj (wanton display of one's beauty and
adornments), such as the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him): “There are two types of the people of Hell whom I have
not seen: people with whips like the tails of cattle, with which they strike
the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing
gait, with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels,
leaning to one side. They will never enter Paradise or even smell its
fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a
distance.” Narrated by Muslim, 2128. 

And he (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who perfumes herself then
passes by the people so that they can smell her fragrance is an adulteress.”
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4173; al-Tirmidhi, 2786; al-Nasaa’i, 5126; classed
as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i. 

If this sin is repeated,
it creates a black spot on the heart, until the whole heart is blackened, as
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If the
believer commits a sin, a black spot appears on his heart. If he repents,
gives it up and seeks forgiveness, his heart is cleansed, but if he does
more then (that spot) increases until it covers his heart. That is the raan
(covering of sin) which Allaah mentioned in the Qur’aan: 

“Nay! But on their
hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to
earn”

[al-Mutaffifeen 83:14] 

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi,
3334; Ibn Maajah, 4244; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Tirmidhi. 

You should note that
marriage to a woman who persists in going out wearing her adornment can only
mean one of two things: 

1 – That the husband has
given in to her, and is keeping quiet about her evil action, so he will
carry a burden of major sin in the Hereafter and shame in this world, for he
is a shepherd who is responsible for his flock. 

How can a wise man accept
to walk with his wife in the street when she is showing her adornment, and
the men around him are looking at her and enjoying the view?! 

2 – That he will stay
with her in a state of conflict and fighting and disagreement. This may be a
cause of distress and anguish which no wise man would accept. So err on the
side of caution, for there is nothing like being on the safe side. Look for
a wife who is religiously committed, for a righteous woman will be good for
you, praise be to Allaah. A righteous woman is the best of the comforts of
this world; she will help you to obey Allaah, remind you of what is right
and proper, guard herself and her husband’s wealth, and raise righteous
children for him who will worship Allaah. 

We ask Allaah to guide
you and give you strength. 

And Allaah knows best.

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