Reviving our sense of Gheerah

Reviving our sense of Gheerah

by Sister Fatima Barakatullah

We live in societies in which most men and women have lost their
sense of modesty, women are obsessed with their appearances and
wear clothes to be seen by others and to attract the attention of
other men even if they are married! They have lost their sense of
shame. Marriage is often looked upon as old-fashioned and short
term affairs and frivolous relationships are the norm, everyone
waiting to attract a better partner and feeling totally justified
to dump one partner for another at the drop of a hat. Feminism too
has reached its peak and men and women are told to suppress their
natural emotions. Men are not even embarrassed when their wives
are dressed up and attract the attention of other men, they don't
mind if another man sees, chats, laughs and even dances with their
womenfolk and if they do mind, they are told not to be so possessive!

In Islam we have a concept of Gheerah. Gheerah is an Arabic word
which means protectiveness or jealousy. It is a good type of jealousy,
like when a man feels jealous or protective over his wife or sisters
and other-womenfolk and doesn't like other men to look at them.
It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah has given men and women. The
Prophet sallallahu `alaihi wassalam had the most Gheerah for his
wives and all of the companions were known for their Gheerah. All
Muslim men should have a collective sense of protectiveness for
Muslim women as Allah says in the Qur'an, the meaning of which is:

"The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…"
(Surah An- Nisaa, Ayah 34).

Men who do not care about how their women behave and appear in
front of other men and don't enforce hijaab upon their wives or
women-folk are called Dayyooth. Being a Dayyooth is a major sin
and a detailed description of this evil characteristic can be found
in adh- Dhahabee's book of Major Sins (Kitaab ul-Kabaa'ir).

A story of Gheerah

To further understand the quality of Gheerah, we can look at an
incident that Asmaa' radi allahu anha the daughter of Abu Bakr As-
Siddeeq radi allahu anhu and sister of Aisha radi allahu anha relates
about herself. Abu Bakr was a wealthy merchant and he married his
daughter Asmaa' to the great companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-`Awwam radi
allahu anhu who was a very poor man but a man of great piety and
one of the companions who were promised Paradise. Asmaa' relates:

"When az-Zubayr married me, he had neither land nor wealth
nor slave…", so Asmaa' had to work very hard kneading
dough, going far off to get water. "And I used to carry on
my head," she continues, "the date stones from the land
of az-Zubair which Allah's Messenger sallallahu `alaihi wassalam
had endowed him and it was a distance of two miles from Madeenah.
One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my head, I happened
to meet Allah's Messenger sallallahu `alaihi wassalam, along with
a group of his Companions. He called me and told the camel to sit
down so that he could make me ride behind him. I felt shy to go
with men and I remembered az-Zubair and his Gheerah and he was a
man having the most Gheerah . The Messenger of Allah sallallahu
`alaihi wassalam understood my shyness and left. I came to az-Zubair
and said: "The Messenger of Allah sallallahu `alaihi wassalam
met me as I was carrying date-stones upon my head and there was
with him a group of his Companions. He told the camel to kneel so
that I could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your Gheerah."
So Asmaa' declined the offer made by the Prophet sallallahu `alaihi
wassalam. Upon this az-Zubair said: "By Allah, the thought
of you carrying date-stones upon your head is more severe a burden
on me than you riding with him." (related in Sahih Bukhari)

Look at the sense of dignity and modesty of Asmaa'! See how she
felt shy in front of men? See how careful she was about her husband's
feelings? She knew that her husband had a lot of Gheerah so she
didn't want to upset him by accepting the Prophet's sallallahu `alaihi
wassalam help even though the Prophet was the purest of men and
even though it meant bringing hardship on herself! And look at az-Zubair
radi allahu anhu, even though he had a lot of Gheerah, he didn't
want to inconvenience his wife. What a beautiful relationship they
had!

Nurturing our sense of Gheerah

Sometimes Muslim women don't understand if their men folk want
them to cover their faces or if they ask them to change something
about the way they dress or speak in public, thinking that the men
are being over-protective. But my dear sisters! If your husband
asks you not to wear a certain colour of khimaar because it brings
out the beauty of your eyes, or if he wants you to cover your face
– by Allah, be thankful! Be proud of the fact that your husband
has a sense of Gheerah for you and that he values you and cares
for your hereafter. He knows what men can be like more than you
do and so never try and suppress his Gheerah in these types of matters.
And his concern for you should incite your own sense of honour!
Why should any man be able to see your beauty and think indecent
thoughts about you? We must nurture our own and our menfolk's sense
of Gheerah by behaving and dressing modestly ourselves and paying
attention to their valid opinions. We expect certain behaviour from
them and they expect it of us. And besides, if our husband asks
us to do something that it not Haraam, we must do it.

And Brothers! How can you allow your wife or sister to walk around
attracting the attentions and evil-thoughts of other men? How can
you not mind if she smiles as she talks to other men. Nobody has
the right to enjoy her and her company but you and her Maharim men.
You are not being overbearing if you first encourage and then enforce
the hijaab on your womenfolk because YOU will be asked about it
on the Day of Judgement and it is also a major sin upon YOU! It
is upon the men to enforce these things in their homes and you cannot
use the excuse that your wife didn't want to. Women need a firm,
balanced, guiding hand from their men, so with wisdom you must enforce
hijaab in your home. You are a shepard and are responsible for your
flock!

Allah reminds us all in the Qur'an, the meaning of which is:

"Oh you who believe, Protect yourselves and your families
from a fire whose fuel is men and stones." (At-Tahreem, Aayah
6)

There is a big difference between how Islam values and protects
women and how cheaply women are treated outside of Islam! As Muslims
we have to be careful that our Hayaa' (sense of modesty and shame)
and Gheerah don't wear out in a society in which people have lost
it.