Julaybib
His name was unusual and incomplete. Julaybib means "small grown" being
the diminutive form of the word "Jalbab ". The name is an indication that
Julaybib was small and short, even of dwarf-like stature. More than that,
he is described as being "damim" which means ugly, deformed, or of repulsive
appearance.
Even more disturbing, for the society in which he lived, Julaybib's lineage
was not known. There is no record of who his mother or his father was
or to what tribe he belonged. This was a grave disability in the society
in which he lived. Julaybib could not expect any compassion or help, any
protection or support from a society that placed a great deal of importance
on family and tribal connections. In this regard, all that was known of
him was that he was an Arab and that, as far as the new community of Islam
was concerned, he was one of the Ansar. Perhaps he belonged to one of
the outlying tribes beyond Madinah and had drifted into the city or he
could even have been from among the Ansar of the city itself.
The disabilities under which Julaybib lived would have been enough to
have him ridiculed and shunned in any society and in fact he was prohibited
by one person, a certain Abu Barzah of the Aslam tribe, from entering
his home. He once told his wife:
"Do not let Julaybib enter among you. If he does, I shall certainly do
(something terrible to him)." Probably because he was teased and scoffed
at in the company of men, Julaybib used to take refuge in the company
of women.
Was there any hope of Julaybib being treated with respect and consideration?
Was there any hope of his finding emotional satisfaction as an individual
and as a man? Was there any hope of his enjoying the relationships which
others take for granted? And in the new society emerging under the guidance
of the Prophet, was he so insignificant as to be overlooked in the preoccupation
with the great affairs of state and in the supreme issues of life and
survival which constantly engaged the attention of the Prophet?
Just as he was aware of the great issues of life and destiny, the Prophet
of Mercy was also aware of the needs and sensibilities of his most humble
companions. With Julaybib in mind, the Prophet went to one of the Ansar
and said: "I want to have your daughter married." "How wonderful and blessed,
O Messenger of God and what a delight to the eye (this would be)," replied
the Ansari man with obvious joy and happiness. "I do not want her for
myself," added the Prophet. "Then for whom, O Messenger of God?" asked
the man, obviously somewhat let down. "For Julaybib," said the Prophet.
The Ansari must have been too shocked to give his own reaction and he
merely said: "I will consult with her mother." And off he went to his
wife. "The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, wants
to have your daughter married," he said to her. She too was thrilled.
"What a wonderful idea and what a delight to the eye (this would be)."
she said. "He doesn't want to marry her himself but he wants to marry
her to Julaybib," he added. She was flabbergasted.
"To Julaybib! No, never to Julaybib! No, by the living God, we shall
not marry (her) to him." she protested.
As the Ansari was about to return to the Prophet to inform him of what
his wife had said, the daughter who had heard her mother's protestations,
asked: "Who has asked you to marry me?"
Her mother told her of the Prophet's request for her hand in marriage
to Julaybib. When she heard that the request had come from the Prophet
and that her mother was absolutely opposed to the idea, she was greatly
perturbed and said:
"Do you refuse the request of the Messenger of God? Send me to him for
he shall certainly not bring ruin to me." This was the reply of a truly
great person who had a clear understanding of what was required of her
as a Muslim. What greater satisfaction and fulfillment can a Muslim find
than in responding willingly to the requests and commands of the Messenger
of God! No doubt, this companion of the Prophet, whose name we do not
even know had heard the verse of the Quran: "Now whenever God and His
Apostle have decided a matter, it is not for a believing man or believing
woman to claim freedom of choice in so far as they themselves are concerned.
And he who disobeys God and His Prophet has already, most obviously, gone
astray." (The Quran, Surah al-Ahzab, 33:36).
This verse was revealed in connection with the marriage of Zaynab bint
Jahsh and Zayd ibn al-Harithah which was arranged by the Prophet to show
the egalitarian spirit of Islam. Zaynab at first was highly offended at
the thought of marrying Zayd a former slave and refused to do so. The
Prophet prevailed upon them both and they were married. The marriage however
ended in divorce and Zaynab was eventually married to the Prophet himself.
It is said that the Ansari girl read the verse to her parents and said:
"I am satisfied and submit myself to whatever the Messenger of God deems
good for me." The Prophet heard of her reaction and prayed for her: "O
Lord, bestow good on her in abundance and make not her life one of toil
and trouble."
Among the Ansar, it is said there was not a more eligible bride than
she. She was married by the Prophet to Julaybib and they lived together
until he was killed.
And how was Julaybib killed? He went on an expedition with the Prophet,
peace be on him, and an encounter with some mushrikin ensued. When the
battle was over, the Prophet asked his companions: "Have you lost anyone?"
They replied giving the names of their relatives of close friends who
were killed. He put the same questions to other companions and they also
named the ones they had lost in the battle. Another group answered that
they had lost no close relative whereupon the Prophet said:
"But I have lost Julaybib. Search for him in the battlefield." They searched
and found him beside seven mushrikin whom he had struck before meeting
his end. The Prophet stood up and went to the spot where Julaybib, his
short and deformed companion, lay. He stood over him and said: "He killed
seven and then was killed? This (man) is of me and I am of him."
He repeated this two or three times. The Prophet then took him in his
arms and it is said that he had no better bed besides the forearms of
the messenger of God. The Prophet then dug for him a grave and himself
placed him in it. He did not wash him for martyrs are not washed before
burial.
Julaybib and his wife are not usually among the companions of the Prophet
whose deeds are sung and whose exploits are recounted with reverence and
admiration as they should be. But in the meagre facts that are known about
them and which have here been recounted we see how humble human beings
were given hope and dignity by the Prophet where once there was only despair
and self-debasement.
The attitude of the unknown and unnamed Ansari girl who readily agreed
to be the wife of a physically unattractive man was an attitude which
reflected a profound understanding of Islam. It reflected on her part
the effacement of personal desires and preferences even when she could
have counted on the support of her parents. It reflected on her part a
total disregard for social pressures. It reflected above all a ready and
implicit confidence in the wisdom and authority of the Prophet in submitting
herself to whatever he deemed good. This is the attitude of the true believer.
In Julaybib, there is the example of a person who was almost regarded
as a social outcast because of his appearance. Given help, confidence
and encouragement by the noble Prophet, he was able to perform acts of
courage and make the supreme sacrifice and deserve the commendation of
the Prophet: "He is of me and I am of him."
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